Mom of Teenagers

I think being a mom of a teenager is one of the toughest stages of parenting life.  It isn't because teenagers are rude or defiant, at least not in the Heinisch home, but more so because of the changes in moods that can occur rapidly.  The 15-17 year old group can go from laughing to crying in a matter of minutes.  One moment they need your help and the next they wish that you would completely stay out of their space.  They get embarrassed of you easily and angry at you often.  They also rely on you for help even when they don't want to ask.

Thankfully, for me, I have a lot of experience with that age group due to the 10+ years that we have had teenagers in our home.  The life lessons that I have learned from the Heinisch teenagers have included never taking anything they say or do personally.  These lessons have also included holding my tongue when teenagers lash out as their anger is usually meant for someone or something else.   I have learned to be supportive instead of controlling.  I have learned that teenagers really don't want my advice as much as a sympathetic ear.  I have also learned that patience is definitely a virtue and being bossy never works.  Lastly, I have learned that they won't always greet you at a high school event or when they are with their friends, but they definitely will appreciate any food that you provide for them at home or away.

Even with all that I have learned over the years, I did, however, break from one of my rules of parenting a teenager.  Cameron had had a tough day yesterday and instead of just listening, I decided that I'd let him in on a piece of advice that Cal gave to Meg years ago.  She was really upset about something at school and he looked right at her and said, "I learned a long time ago to lower my expectations.  That way, I'm never disappointed."  Much as Meg did years ago, Cameron looked at me and laughed.  He said, "You know, Mom, Peter Le Fleur pretty much said the same thing about goals in dodgeball."  Quotes to live by - at least through the teenage years.