When we cleaned out the attic yesterday we brought down the bassinet, Pack n Play and play pen that we used with the Heinisch children. We don't need them yet and still had plenty of room to store these baby items in the attic, but I wanted to clean them up and make sure that they all still worked. A lot of fun memories came flooding back as I checked through them. We had definitely gotten a lot of use out of all three and I was glad to see that they still worked well. Doug and I are not ready for grandchildren, but realize that these would be perfect to use wherever we are living if and when Brett, Cal, Meg or Cam visit us with their own children.
As I was cleaning I thought a lot about how much has changed over the past fifteen years in regards to having children. It seems to have become more and more acceptable for children to be born out of wedlock to teenage mothers. I am sure that some of that is due to shows such as "16 and Pregnant" that romanticize having children at an early age. In these shows as in real life parents and grandparents become excited about the prospect of having another baby in the family or home without thinking about the longterm consequences. As a teacher I saw the reality of those circumstances and most were extremely challenging situations for the child. Being raised by a grandparent is never the best case scenario. It ruins that familial relationship between the two and blurs the boundaries of parent, child and grandparent.
The other big difference between when we had our children and today is gender revel parties. I don't know if I am just out of touch or too far removed from being a new mother, but I just don't understand them. If it took the place of a baby shower, I might understand it more, but most families have both, which means double the amount of gifts and commitments for friends and family members. These parties have also seemed to have taken on a life of their own with bigger and better revels planned. In the last month I have actually read about several different individuals who were killed in a gender reveal accident or explosion. That seems crazy to me. Doug and I did not find out the sex of any of the Heinisch children before they were born as we wanted to be surprised. We realize that not everyone wants to be surprised for a variety of reasons, but having a huge party to celebrate the gender of a baby seems incredibly strange. There's so much more to having a child than worrying about the gender. I have even heard several soon-to-be parents express disappointment when they found out the gender wasn't what they wanted. I don't understand how admitting to those around you that you really wanted a girl or a boy instead would be a positive situation. I wonder what happens to a child's self esteem when they found out years later that their parents or grandparents really wanted a different gender child.
I guess it just feels to me that some parents and grandparents have forgotten that children are actually a gift from God. They are not put on this earth to be our entertainment or to make up for some personal disappointment in our own life. They are to serve God's purpose. We are to raise them and love them, but not expect them to entertain or serve us. I realize that one day the Heinisch children may have their own children to raise. I hope that I always look upon them as a gift to the world and not put undo expectations on them. I hope to love and support them and place their importance in a proper perspective. I believe that is more important than any party I could plan for them.
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