Today Wawasee students started school and for the first time in six years I was not there to greet the students of Milford. In fact it was the first time in eighteen years that none of the Heinisch family had connections with the opening day of Wawasee Community School Corporation. When I quit last April I didn't know how I would react to this day. I thought that it might be bittersweet or that I might feel sad or guilty. I was happy to report this morning that I felt none of these. Instead I was relieved. We had so much going on this week in getting Cal back to IU and Brett unpacked from DC for his trip to Bloomington that I would have never been able to pull off setting up a classroom and starting the school year.
Brett and I talked a lot today about my teaching experience as we headed to Mishawaka for some shopping. I was glad that I was able to teach for the past six years. It was a huge help financially to our family as the boys started college. In saying that it took quite a toll on me physically and mentally. It was nice that I was able to finish last year, but by May my body was a wreck and in need of serious attention. I had gained quite a bit of weight and my left leg was in constant pain. Doug had strongly encouraged me to quit the year before, but I decided to try one more year. It was the wrong decision, but we made it through to the end.
The response I have gotten when people find out that I will not be returning to teaching has been interesting. The first question has been "What are you going to do now?" I have been quick to assure everyone who asks that I have plenty to keep me busy, but many then start giving me a list of all of the places that I can apply or volunteer. The second questions has consistently been, "Why?" I have been vague with that one. My health and commitment to family have always been the top reason. I could not be the mother or wife that I wanted to be when I was teaching. In my first year full-time teaching 6th grade math I was equaling the amount of hours that Doug put in as a CFO of two companies and making 75% less. Doug has always said that there are three important reasons for staying at a job: 1) You have to enjoy what you do. 2) You have to like the people you work with and 3) You have to feel compensated for the work you do. Even though I could check off #1 and #2, I never felt good about #3. It's great that everyone on Facebook posts how valued teachers are, but I could not get past the lack of pay with little room to advance that comes along with all of the hard work and commitment.
Even with the lack of compensation and minimal appreciation for all of the hours that I put in, I do believe that the school could have done a lot to encourage me to stay. If they would have agreed to realistic class sizes and a consistent discipline plan for the biggest behavior issues, I would have considered continuing my career. I had asked administration and even the union for help with those areas, but after six years of trying I realized that this would never become a reality and returning to life as the matriarch of the Heinisch home was the best option for the six of us. I have thanked Doug daily since we made that decision last April. Our quality of life as a family has increased and my health has already improved greatly. I couldn't be happier.
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