Turn the Other Cheek

When we first started attending St. Martin de Porres Catholic Church, Father Ed was the priest.  He was an interesting clergyman, ex-Navy, gruff and extremely blunt.  We didn't have a close relationship with him, but did look forward to his homilies as we never knew what he was going to say.  One of the most memorable ones occurred on the Sunday after 9/11.  I was pretty sure that the message was "Don't trust Muslims."  Being that he had served in the military, I guess that it made sense to him.  I was just thankful that our children were too young to understand the negativity of that homily.

As controversial as Father Ed could be, there was one homily that he gave that always resonated with me.  In it he talked about the Bible verse in Matthew encouraging "that ye resist not evil; but whoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also."  I always thought that this verse meant that I should I forgive someone for a bad act and still remain a relationship with them, even if they wronged me again.  Father Ed said that interpretation  was incorrect.  It meant to actually forgive them, but turn away from the wrong doing.  That made so much more sense to me than letting someone keep treating you poorly.

From that sermon to today, I have never forgotten Father Ed's advice.  Before then I would have let someone walk all over me.  After his speech, I realized that I was acting incorrectly;  I could actually forgive someone and walk away from them even if they were family.  No one had the right to treat me or my family poorly, but that didn't really matter.  What did matter was that I learned to turn the other cheek and keep moving on without them.  It was up to me how many times I would let them "smite" me before I left the relationship, but I didn't have to keep getting slapped over and over again.

Although none of the Heinisch children were old enough to thoroughly understand that sermon several decades ago, they have benefitted from Doug and I being in attendance that day.  They have witnessed how we have handled negative relationships by forgiving and walking away.  Nothing bad has to be said or done, just turn the cheek and leave.  That advice was some of the best that I have ever received.