A Nice Week for a Visitor

 Doug left for Florida on Sunday and I was very sad to see him go.  The closer we get to moving, the harder it is for me to watch him leave.  I should be used to it, but I've always hated it when we are not together.  I told him that it was the first time since he was living in DeKalb and I was in Syracuse, that I wanted to chase down his car and beg him to stay.

Fortunately, after that first hour, I did pretty well with Doug's first few days in Florida.  Cameron kept me busy with IU Orientation tasks, setting up a new checking at KeyBank, and finding addresses for thank you cards.  Cal also decided to come home this week which was very nice.  I enjoyed watching movies with him and playing cards with he, Grandma and Grandpa.  I was also glad that he was able to get into visit the dentist, and that Grandpa and I were able to put his Illinois license plates on the CR-V.  The back was easy, but we had to drill holes for the front plate.  It looked great when we were finished and Cal appreciated it very much.  While I was driving his car, I realized that the tire light was back on from his Memorial Day visit.  Monteith had an opening this morning and soon found out the culprit - a screw in the tire.  I was relieved that it got fixed before he left for Chicago this evening.  I will miss him as always, but incredibly thankful for the time together.   

Remembering Grandma Heinisch

 In the month before Jeanette died, she gave me letters for each one of our children.  She said that they weren't goodbye letters, but memories that she had of each one of them individually.  She told me that it was up to me to decide when to give them to Brett, Cal, Meg and Cameron.  

I had kept those letters in our fire proof lock box for almost nine years waiting for the best time to share those letters.  I knew that I wanted the four of them to have their letters at the same time, but wasn't sure when that would be.  We had talked about doing it last Thanksgiving, but since we hadn't had a time alone with only the four of them, I decided that Cameron's graduation would be the perfect moment.  

On Monday morning of Memorial Day weekend, I pulled the letters out of the lock box, explained Grandma Heinisch's intentions, and told them that neither Dad nor I had ever read them.  Brett, Cal and Cameron read their letters immediately.  I didn't ask for any information, but was glad to hear that they really appreciated having them and that they loved remembering their time with their Grandma Heinisch. 

Meg shared her letter more in depth with me later that evening.  It was nice to hear Grandma's memories of her and Meg's time together.  Meg loved how supportive she was and missed her that night ever so much.  She told me that I could read the letter anytime that I wanted.  I thanked her and said that I think I would pass on that for now.  I really appreciated Meg's offer, but knew that I wasn't in a mindset where I could be sad.  Life had been so incredibly hard this past year and thinking about how much we would have loved having Jeanette in our life right now was more than I could handle.  In saying that, I was just so incredibly happy that she chose to leave such a wonderful legacy for our children.  It was the perfect tribute to the way that she led her life - always thinking of others.

Riki

Cameron’s friend Riki spent the last ten days in Indiana visiting all of his Bethany friends.  Cameron was very excited to see him and wished that he would have had a little more time with him before he went back to Paraguay. Cameron had a packed schedule with graduation and golf these past two weeks, so it was hard for him to be with his friends every time they met.  Riki was at Cameron’s sectionals, graduation and several of the same open houses which he really enjoyed.  

Thankfully, today worked out well for Cameron to spend the entire day with Riki, Samuel, Avery, JJ and more.  They hung out, went out to eat, watched movies and just had a great time together.  He said that it felt just like old times.  I hope that Riki and Cameron will still be able to continue their friendship once they both leave for college.  I realize that will get harder and harder as their friend group goes their separate ways.  For now, I’m just happy that they were able to make more memories and catch up with one other.

The Beach Boys

Once Meg and Mallory found out that The Beach Boys were playing in Terre Haute this summer, they bought tickets immediately.  Both were big fans of the group, and Meg had already seen Brian Wilson in concert last summer.  Since he and Mike Love, owner of The Beach Boys name, didn’t tour together anymore, she was excited to finally see both live and in person.  As the majority of the original group is in their 80s, she wasn’t sure if she would get another chance.

Tonight was the much anticipated concert.  Meg and Mallory planned for a fun night with matching outfits.  They left early to secure their seats on the lawn.  They were surprised that the venue did not have an inclined hill to sit on for the concert.  The grassy area was flat and most of the other concert goers had brought lawn chairs.  They realized that they would have to stand for the event, but that didn’t matter to them.  They enjoyed the group just as much.

The Beach Boys played all of their big hits and several of the songs that the girls had come to love from their History of The Beach Boys music class at IU.  Meg said that they started screaming when Mike Love talked about his friendship with John Stamos.  After a few minutes they realized that the Full House actor was not going to join his favorite band on the stand, but they enjoyed believing that he would for that short period of time.  

There was an intermission halfway through the concert for the group to rest.  Meg and Mallory used that time to buy souvenir t-shirts.  The concert was over by 10:30, which gave them plenty of time to drive back to Bloomington by midnight.  I was happy to hear from her shortly after she arrived at her apartment.  She had absolutely loved her night and found it funny that everyone else she knew was going to see Taylor Swift in Chicago this weekend.  As much as she enjoyed Taylor Swift’s music, it just didn’t compare to The Beach Boys for Meg. 

Open House Season

Cameron spent the good portion of his weekend at graduation open houses.  I believe last year that he went to everyone's in the senior class at Bethany.  This year he had to miss a few due to his own open house, Meg's engagement party and his work schedule.  Even so, he will have made it to quite a few this year.  

I am impressed with Cameron ability to attend as many open houses as possible.  I realized after last weekend that I just didn't have the stamina for party hopping anymore.  Thankfully, we only had Evan Brower's this weekend.  I enjoyed talking to him, seeing his accomplishments and visiting with Mary.  It also gave me a chance to catch up with Sharon (Boatwright) Vester.  

Today as we working on taking down some of the posters, banners, trophies and tables from Cameron's open house, I realized that I was very thankful that we had always held ours right after graduation.  It was a lot of work getting ready for it and stressful at times coordinating the celebration at our home with graduation, but we always had a nice turn out and could relax as soon as they were over.  I am amazed at those who hold them in late June or early July as I just couldn't wait that long and neither could the rest of our family.  Thankfully, that is something that I will never have to worry about again.  Glad that we ended on a positive note with four successful open houses of our own.

Sectionals

Twenty-three years of watching Heinisch youth sports came to an end today as Cameron played in his last school sponsored golf tournament ever.  Sectionals did not go the way that Cameron had hoped.  He had shot an 80 yesterday at Meadowvalley and knew that he would have to match that score or even score a few shots better to make it out of sectionals.  Both Cameron and Cal had finished in the dreaded fourth place slot several times.  Cameron really wanted to be the one to break the top three and move on to regionals.  He started off well, finishing with a 41 on the back.  Unfortunately, he had four tough holes on the front that inflated his score to a 50.  The last hole was extremely impressive, however as he hit one of the best shots that I have ever seen to get around a tree limb and put the ball on nine green making an easy par.  I felt that it was completely fitting that the last hole of his high school career was the best.  

As sad as I was that Cameron didn't make it out of sectionals, I couldn't cry for him.  He had told me multiple times this year that this was not his best golf year, but this was his favorite team ever.  He drove all of them to practice every day.  They hung out off of the course and were extremely supportive of one another.  Last night, the entire varsity stayed at Jack's house so that they could be closer to sectionals.  Jack's family made them dinner and Cameron said that it was so much fun.  

Not only did Cameron have support from his team this year, but he also continuously had the biggest galleries at every one of his matches.  Today, was no different.  It was fun to walk with Alina, her mom and many of his friends, and also to see so many other supporters including Bethany's AD.  We got some great pictures and Doug and I even went to lunch with Marissa afterward.

Cameron spent the afternoon with his team at Jon's lake house on Dewart.  They ate, swam, kayaked and just hung out telling golf stories and talking about next year.  Cameron said that he would have loved to make it out of sectionals but wasn't sad that his high school career was over.  It had been a good run, and as Mr. Voirol told me years ago, "It had to end sometime."  I was glad to have been a part of it and was happy that Cameron felt so good about it all. 

Grief Journey

 In all of the things that I have had to do as a parent, walking with Cameron along his journey of grief this year was by far the hardest.  I would never speak of his feelings as they are his to share, but from a mother's prospective it was tough.  I remember a little over a year ago when Cameron told me that Richard had been murdered, I instant thought, "Oh, no, this is going to be one tough summer."  I didn't realize that it would take much longer than that for Cameron to learn to move forward with Richard's memory without being overwhelmed with grief.

Last May I really thought that I was more prepared for helping Cameron with Richard's loss.  When Keshawn died during Meg's senior year, we were able to talk, cry and come up with ways to process the pain.  Although Cameron and I communicated daily, I couldn't help him like I could Meg.  He needed me to be there for him, but he needed someone else to help him comprehend the sadness that losing a best friend brings.

Cameron had spent so much time with Richard during his junior year that he had become a part of our daily conversations.  His stories always started with "Richard and I."  In fact he had said it so much that one time this year, he started to say "Richard and I" when he meant to say "Sam and I."  For a moment I had forgotten that Richard was gone.  I was ready to hear about their adventure of the day.  Instead my heart broke a little bit more for the two boys that had shared so much together during their junior year, sad that their time was only a memory now.

I learned early to listen to every story that Cameron had to tell.  I rarely cried in front of him as I didn't want him to stop telling me stories until he decided that he had had enough.  Thankfully, that has never happened.  I cried enough on my own that I realized that neither Cameron nor I could be the ones to take on the role as comforter to the Rios' family.  Cameron was absolutely shattered by Richard's death at first, and I needed to just be focused on him.  It did not help that I could not speak Spanish and Richard's mother did not speak English.  I was thankful that there were other moms in Cameron's friend group that could and that they reached out to Maria in support.  I was impressed when I saw Richard's family at graduation and at this week's open houses, including Cameron's.  I am not sure how I would have felt in the same situation.  It was nice to see them support Richard's friends.  I hope that they could see how much that the boys' friend group loved Richard.

Last September, was the most challenging times in my life as a mom.  I would never want to relive it and hope that it will be a long time before any of us have to endure such a situation again.  This spring Cameron and I were talking about the fall and how hard that it really was.  I said to him, "You know, I wasn't sure that either one of us were going to make it this far."  He looked at me and said, "Me, neither."  Thankfully, we both did.