Becoming Grandparents, Not So Fast

Several events have happened recently that have gotten Doug and I talking about the eventuality of us becoming grandparents.  Our own children have talked about marriage and having children one day, but none are in a place in their lives that they are ready for either.  Brett and Cal have just started their careers, Meg is not even halfway through her college education, and Cam, well, that's not even a discussion yet.  Maybe because none of them are ready to be parents, neither Doug nor I are interested in becoming grandparents yet.  We have watched too many couples of all ages have children before they are emotionally, financially or physically ready.  It is not only hard on the parents, but it can also lead to lifelong problems for the child.  We would hate to see any of our children or grandchildren be put into that situation.  The other issue that we see arise is that due to parenting problems the grandparents are left to raise their grandchildren.  There is nothing that harms a family relationship more than having a grandparent "parent" their grandchildren.  It blurs boundary lines and at times causes issues between the grandparents and their own adult children.  

We have explained our opinion to Brett, Cal, Meg and Cameron.  They completely understand that by the time Cameron graduates from high school we will have had a Heinisch child in our home for twenty-eight years and will be ready for the next adventure in our life.  We plan to move somewhere warmer, travel, and expand our interests, activities and knowledge.   We will also enjoy being parents to four adult children watching them navigate life and will be supportive without being a caregiver.  I know that I have heard from several people that being a "grandparent is the best thing that could ever happen to you."  I don't ever see myself feeling that way.  I will definitely love any and all of my grandchildren, but I hope that the best thing that ever happened to me was raising the Heinisch children with Doug and in turn watching them raise their own children with their significant other.