Fasting and the Lenten Promise

The topic that seems to be on most priests' minds this winter has been fasting.  Explanations of why it is important to the body and the soul have been given multiple times.  As we approach Ash Wednesday the subject matter has increased.  Brett and Nick went to Theology on Tap tonight at Bub's and it was the main focus of the speaker.   Father Andrew also discussed the importance of fasting, especially in a country as rich as ours.  Meg's Bible study group did as well.

All of the talk about fasting and Lenten promises has led to some great discussions inside the Heinisch family.  Brett thoughts surrounding the topic led him to wanting more history behind the idea of fasting.  Cal was more interested in his Lenten promise this year.  He and his friends each decided to give up something and the one who stopped following it first had to attend 8 a.m. mass for six Sundays in a row.  Cal vowed to give up meat and eating out until Easter.  Meg wasn't as big on fasting as she felt that it wasn't possible for everyone.  I agreed with her on that one.  She instead talked about forgoing social media for Lent.  Cameron shared what he had learned in his Faith Journey class at Bethany about suffering.  From the discussions, he decided that he believed that giving up something or fasting made you closer to God as each time you thought about your promise or what you were giving up, you were thinking about Him.  Doug felt that neither a promise nor fasting were important to bringing one closer to God.  He believed that living life in moderation was the best way to do so.  I appreciated everyone's thoughts on Ash Wednesday and the upcoming Lenten season.  It made me feel really good about my decision to catch up on all of the Bible in a Year podcasts and follow it through with it until the end of the year.  

Brokenness

I am so thankful that Meg suggested that I listed to the Bible in a Year podcast.  It has been extremely interesting and I have been amazed at how relevant the topics are even though they occurred thousands of years ago.  The one subject that Father Mike Schmitz has focused on in every podcast that I have listened to so far is "brokenness" of the family.  I had never really heard the word before, but as he talked of the struggles in the families of the Bible, it fit perfectly.  There were so many things that caused brokenness in the Bible that were still creating issues for families today.  Incest, death, murder, greed, hunger were just a few that had been mentioned so far.  I found it interesting that the four women in the lineage of Jesus had all endured brokenness in their lives as well.  

Losing my brother definitely changed my family forever.  Brokenness seemed to be a good word for that, especially in the first decade after his death.  Brokenness was also the perfect way to describe the Heinisch family after the death of Jeanette.  One topic that I haven't heard so far in the Bible in a Year podcast that has caused brokenness for so many families in the world is abuse.  It can come in so many forms and can be absolutely devastating.  I had been thinking about that issue a lot over the past year.  Although physical and sexual abuse were some of the worst causes of brokenness, verbal and emotional abuse could also destroy a family.  Yelling and screaming at someone no matter their age is always hurtful.  Calling them names or saying mean things to them in anger could change a family forever.  Just like physically striking someone, words can knock a person to the ground.  Unfortunately, they can't be taken back.  As a parent, you should never say something in anger no matter how old your child is.  Those words will sting for a lifetime, especially if you try to justify yourself by blaming the child for your actions.  Even if your child is an adult, choosing your words carefully during a disagreement or time of stress is the easiest way to stop brokenness from taking over your family life.  

Marriage - The Biggest Influence on Your Life

Although the ten days that Doug had been in Florida had gone by fast since Cameron and I had both been very busy,  it was so nice to have him home today.  He caught up on some work, helped with several projects around the house, went on a walk with me and even took me out to dinner tonight.  We also made some time to sit down and talk about some serious issues that had arisen while he was gone.  We came up with a plan on how to handle two very difficult situations which made me feel a lot better about our long term future goals.

At the end of  today I thought a lot about what Father Mike Schmitz had said about marriage yesterday on his podcast "The Catholic Bible in a Year."  He stated that nothing affects your life more (either positively or negatively) than who you chose to marry.  I had never really thought about that before, but he was exactly right.  Your spouse is not only the most important part of your life, but also the most influential.  

I feel extremely fortunate to have a marriage that would fall into the positive category.  It didn't happen by accident, it took a lot of work.  When Doug and I first married, I felt that our partnership was lopsided - he was the positive and I was the negative.  At that time period, I truly believed that because his family had more money than mine and because he had a stronger dedication to his faith than I did, that I was the lesser person in the marriage.  My insecurities were increased by several things that were said to me by one of his family members early in our relationship.  My commitment to Doug was questioned by this person as was my motive for marrying him.  My parenting skills were criticized as was my weight gain after having children.  Even our decision for me to be a stay at home mom was under scrutiny along with our move to Syracuse.  It didn't help that these issues were for the most part said only to me.  I took all of it to heart, feeling like a terrible person and a horrible match for Doug.  

As we close in on our thirtieth year of marriage, I am happy to say that I no longer see things as I did in the first decade after our nuptials.  I realize that I am also a positive part of Doug and my relationship.  My role has never really changed in our marriage, but I have grown in it.  Supporting Doug and the Heinisch children, while managing the our household has been the mainstay of my life.  My focus has changed depending on what everyone needs, but overall I have felt very good about the help that I have been able to give my family.  Even with three of the children "grown and flown", I have been more involved these past two years in our families' lives than at almost any other time in my life.  Doug's work involvement, travel schedule and health issues have left him with little time for anything else.  Thus, I have had to pick up a lot more of the day to day household duties including getting the house ready to sell and preparing for graduation.  I have also had to spend quite a bit of time diligently budgeting as our income has not increased, but our expenses have due to inflation.  I am proud of the money that I have saved our family this year learning how to do DIY projects myself.  Most importantly, I also dedicated myself to helping Cameron through a very traumatic incident, one that has had a long lasting effect on him.  This past year has taught me that life is hard.  Having a positive marriage relationship has made a difference in how we have been able to handle adversity this year.  I am very thankful for that.  

Semi-State Champions

When we found out that the Bethany girls basketball team would be playing in the semi-state tournament today, we were excited for them, but also a little worried about how we were going to get Cameron to the game.  We had signed up for IU's Red Carpet Day several weeks ago and most sessions were already full.  With senior trip occurring the first week of March and golf season starting immediately afterward, we knew that trying to find another date would be almost impossible. 

Once we saw the pairings draw last weekend, our concerns subsided.  The Bruins were playing at Frankfort, Indiana which was two hours from Bethany, but only an hour and forty minutes from Bloomington.  We knew that we could easily get Cameron to the game at Case Arena as it was only ten minutes out of our normal drive home from Bloomington to Syracuse.  Since Cameron wasn't really sure what he would do in between the games if the girls won, Doug and I decided to make a day of it watching the morning session and staying for the night game if Bethany was in it.  

We arrived in Frankfort at 11 a.m. this morning.  The assistant coach had texted Cameron to tell him what door to get in and where to meet the team.  I really appreciated that as we weren't quite sure what he should do.  Doug and I went in as soon as the first game was over.  Cameron let us know later that Tri had won by almost 30 points.  We were surprised that it was that lopsided in a final eight  game.  

Bethany played Washington Township and started off strong.  Washington Township led most of the second quarter, however, and we felt fortunate to be down only by seven at half.  The game was intense in the second half as well.  Thankfully, the refs started calling fouls on their aggressive play.  We were happy to see that as we had been hit hard in the first half.  Bethany was in the bonus before the fourth quarter began.  Even so, the game remained close up until the end with the Bruins winning by five.  

We found Cameron after the game.  He was pretty hyped up about the win.  We had roughly six hours until the championship, so we let him pick how we spent that time.  He wanted to go to Greenwood to catch up with Alina.  She had participated in the ISMAA vocal music contest in the morning and was shopping at the mall.  Her family planned on staying for the game as well, so it worked out well for Cameron to hang out with them for the afternoon.  The three of us stopped for lunch at Big Woods in Speedway first, enjoying a delicious meal together.  While Cameron was busy with Alina's family and friends, Doug and I did a little bit of shopping.  I stopped in at Yankee Candle first and then we both found something at Kohl's to take home.  We had just enough time to stop at Target before picking Cameron up at Barnes & Noble for our return trip to Frankfort.

I was surprised at how many cars were at Case Arena when we arrived at 7:20.  Doug and I headed in early to secure a seat at the top of the bleachers.   Quickly after tip off, it looked as though Tri was going to run away with the game.  They were instantly up 6-0 and we weren't sure that we had an answer for the height of their best player.  Bethany kept it close, however, and were only down by one at half.  Tri looked strong again to start the second half, but Bethany hung tough.  Their best player got into foul trouble and had to sit out for part of the fourth quarter.  The Bruins took advantage driving down the lane almost every play until she returned, outscoring Tri 8-2.  The game was one of the most intense that I have seen in person.  Bethany hit some key threes.  They answered with twos inside the paint and had to foul to catch up.  That put our point guard on the spot, but she answered the call, hitting six straight free throws clinching the win for Bethany 54-50.  It was so much fun to watch.  It was Bethany's first ever Semi-State Championship and everyone joined in celebration on the court afterward.  Cameron got to cut down the net once again, and Doug and I enjoyed listening to he and Keagan talk about the game all the way back to Syracuse.  It was a late night for all of us, but well worth the trip.  

Red Carpet Day at Indiana University

 Doug, Cameron and I attended IU’s Red Carpet Day for admitted students.  Cameron really enjoyed it and felt that he gained a lot of information through the day long program.  We started our morning at the Whittenberger Auditorium at the Indiana Memorial Union where we had a continental breakfast, Cameron picked up a free t-shirt and we had a family picture taken before heading into the morning session.

During the first session we were introduced to several student ambassadors that talked about their experiences at IU and how they came to chose Indiana over other colleges.  The assistant dean from admissions also talked and we found out that there were twenty-six states represented at today’s event.  Doug thought it was funny that no one really clapped when she mentioned Kentucky as one of them.

After the first session, we split into small groups and participated in a walking tour of campus.  It was informative, but unfortunately, it was also the coldest day of February this year.  We made it through, however, and Cameron really enjoyed it.  We ended the morning listening to a panel of IU students, someone from the Office of First Year Experience, the head of resident housing and a professor all talk about life on campus.

Lunch was on our own and Cameron picked Mother Bears for our meal.  IU had given us a coupon for a free order of breadsticks which was a nice benefit of eating there as well.  We had just enough time to stop in the bookstore before our meeting at the Hilton Honors College.  It ended up being Cameron’s favorite session of the day.  They gave us a lot of information and seemed to be great student advocates.  Cameron was very excited about being a part of their program

The last session was by far the weakest.  We sat in on an introduction to the Kelley School of Business.  It had the least information and the tour was very lame.  Thankfully, we already knew a lot about the school, so it didn’t change our mind about Cameron being a part of it.

As soon as we were done, we picked up Meg and Nick to go shopping at Tracks.  Both Meg and Cameron had vinyls that they wanted to purchase.  Cameron also wanted to look around the Indiana Shop.  Everyone was pleased with their purchases.  We then played games at Meg’s for an hour or so before heading back to Brett’s.  They wanted to go out for dinner to celebrate a belated Valentine’s Day and Cameron had homework to do.  

Doug picked up dinner for us  - breadsticks for he and Brett and McAlister’s for Cameron and I.  Brett arrived shortly after 8 p.m., ate dinner and was ready for a haircut.  I hadn’t cut it in six weeks, so it was definitely long.  Afterward we had just enough time to play one more game of Ticket to Ride Germany before Meg and Nick arrived.  We then all had a lot of fun playing Snakes and Loud Librarian.  It was the perfect end to a wonderful (yet exhausting) day in Bloomington.

Celebrating Brett's Birthday

I still didn't feel the greatest today, but thankfully I was able to make it to Bethany Christian at 11:30 a.m. to pick up Cameron for our road trip to Bloomington.  We had three items on our agenda - 1) See Doug after ten days of him working in Florida 2) Celebrate Brett's Birthday and Valentine's Day with him, Meg and Nick 3) Attend IU's Red Carpet Day for admitted students.  We were both looking forward to it and and I was glad that I didn't have to cancel.  Grandma Jane road along to take the van back home.  I really appreciated that as it got us on the road thirty minutes quicker.

Cameron was ready to leave as soon as we arrived.  It rained the entire drive, but overall it wasn't too bad.  Doug was just finishing up working when we arrived.  He was definitely happy to see us.  Brett walked in shortly after we did.  He had switched his hours so that he could get off work earlier today.  We decided to give him his gifts before we did anything else.  Cameron was proud of the sign that he had picked out for Brett and couldn't wait for his reaction.  Brett didn't disappoint as he started singing the jingle as soon as he saw it.  Brett also appreciated the wine, Oogie Boogie Shirt and Small World game that he got from Doug, "Tim Burton" and I.  

Once the gifts were opened and enjoyed, we had just enough time to play Ticket to Ride Germany before picking up Meg and Nick for dinner.  Brett chose Big Woods for his birthday meal, but the wait was over an hour.  Buffalouie's was next on the list, but with trivia night in full swing, there were no seats available.  Brett decided that Nick's would work very well as he hadn't eaten at the IU restaurant in quite some time.  Thankfully, they had plenty of room and we were seated immediately.  As an added bonus, the food was delicious and the the waiter was awesome.  The Nick in our party even walked out with his very own "Nick's" shirt.

The rest of the night was spent at Brett's.  Cameron opened his birthday gift from Meg adding two more American Eagle shirts to his collection and his very first Squishmallow.  Nick gave him a football from the Super Bowl and then gave Doug a Chiefs Super Bowl glass from his recent trip to Arizona during the football championship game.  Nick also had a present for Brett's birthday - "Loud Librarians" that we couldn't wait to try out after first playing Cameron's new game - Snakes.  It was a wonderful evening and the perfect way to celebrate Brett's 28th birthday.

What a Migraine

I spent most of my day cleaning, packing and working on Cameron's t-shirt blanket.  At 5:30 p.m. my household projects came to a grinding halt.  My vision became blurred and I realized that I was starting to get a migraine.  I was completely surprised as I hadn't had a migraine in quite some time.  I hurried and took some Tylenol hoping that the medication would keep it from developing.  Unfortunately, no such luck.  I spent the rest of the evening fighting off what ended up being one of the worst migraines that I had had in years.

With the lights out, ice on my neck and toast for dinner, I was still able to hang out with Cameron for the rest of the evening as he finished homework and listened to his newest Eminem vinyl.  He asked me how I could have the music on if I couldn't even talk on the phone.  I told him that one vibrated in my ear and the other was really just background noise.  His next question, "Why do you think that you have this bad of a migraine?", wasn't as easy to answer.

I thought a lot about Cameron's question over the next few hours.  I told him that it definitely could have been that I waited too long to eat.  I had been strictly following Weight Watchers while Doug was gone and hadn't used any of my extra weekly points.  That meant that I was eating around 1200 calories a day for the past week and a half.  That, along with all of the exercising and work around the house had probably taken a toll on me.

I also thought that the issue could have been the stress that Doug was under last weekend.  It was hard to be separated from him for that long of a period of time knowing that he had had an intense week at work as well as a difficult situation with a family member.  Neither would be easily resolved and I knew that it weighed heavily on my mind.  Doug and I had talked a lot about both issues and the circumstances surrounding them.  I told him that I would definitely support Doug if he chose to walk away from both of these situations.  With the health issues that he had been having over the past year, I didn't feel that he needed to add any more stress to his life. He was thankful for the support, but decided for the time being to keep working on both problems.  

After explaining this to Cameron, he encouraged me to only focus on the issues in the immediate future and not those that I couldn't control or that would take care of themselves with time.  It was good advice that sounded a lot like something that Doug would encourage me to do as well.  Although, it didn't immediately solve my headache issues, I did feel well enough to watch the late night IU game with him.