Goodbye, Finally!!

Last Sunday, Brett and I made a detailed list to help him move.  I knew that we couldn’t be there, but hoped that the suggestions that I made would help.  We started with the large items and made four columns - trash, donate, move, store.  I felt good about it when we finished, but was worried about the large items, especially the couch and buffet.  There was no way that Brett could move those on his own and since he wasn’t planning on keeping them, it would be extremely helpful to get them out of the apartment before his friends showed up to help.

Thankfully, today Doug, Brett and I were able to make a large dent in the process.  Brett had called St. Vincent de Paul’s society in Bloomington to see which of his items that they would want.  He found out that they desperately needed lamps and dressers.  Brett had several of those, so Doug offered to help fill up the van and CR-V so that we could take them over.  They also said that they would take the buffet so the guys loaded that in the van as well.  It took a couple of trips, but by noon, we had everything to Brett’s favorite place to volunteer and were back at Brett’s apartment working on the furniture on the “trash” list.

The hardest part of the day came next.  After years of begging Brett to get rid of our old family couch that he had inherited when he was in grad school, he finally agreed.  It helped that Karen said that she absolutely did not want to have it in the new apartment. Doug was a little sad to see it go as it was his favorite place to sleep.  It was large, heavy and awkward, but after a half hour of trying he and Brett got it down the stairs, out the door and into the dumpster.  I was worried that it wouldn’t fit through the door, but Brett figured it out and in the end everyone was happy to see it go and celebrated with lunch at Upland Brewing Company with Cameron.

The rest of the day was a lot more relaxing.  Brett and Doug did some wine tasting at Oliver and beer tasting at Heart Works plus played a game of Ticket to Ride all before Brett left for Good Friday mass, and we went to dinner at Mother Bears with Cameron, Cora and her parents.  It was very nice to meet them and talk to another couple that had the same enthusiasm as we did for IU.  We ended the evening back at Brett’s relaxing while finally finishing the movie, Bullit County.  It was very good and I was glad that Brett had introduced it to me.  

Parce and Aunt Gena's New Place

On my way to Indianapolis to pick up Doug from his late-night flight, I stopped by to see Parce and Aunt Gena. They had moved to Greensburg last summer and had hoped that I would have time on this trip to stop by and see their new home. I had never been to the west side of the state and was looking forward to the adventure. I was surprised at how many country roads that I had to take as I thought that I would mainly be on I-69. I liked that, however, as it was a lot more scenic drive and was a great way to really see the area.

I made it to my destination around 5 p.m. and enjoyed my visit. Their home was built in the 1920s but had been remodeled in the 1950s. The woman who had lived in it before them was in her 90s and had been there for over 70 years.  Thus, there were a lot of changes that Parce and Gena wanted to make. I was impressed to see all of the work that they had done to bring the home into a modern-day age but still keep the integrity of its original time period. I also enjoyed catching up with them and listening to their thoughts on their new life in a small town. I even got to meet their three cats while I was there.

Doug’s flight was late, so I decided to go down to Brett’s from Greensburg before heading back up to Indy. We had just enough time to eat breadsticks and watch some more of Bullitt County before we left. Doug was very happy to see us when we arrived, and I think even more pleased to have a bag of breadsticks ready for him. It had been a long day of driving, but a fun one as well. Needless to say, I was more than ready for bed when we arrived back at Brett’s at 1 AM.

A Day of "Rest"

My day of rest in Syracuse turned into a very busy one.  As soon as I got up, I decided to clean out the closet in Cameron's bedroom at my parents.  We had stored a lot of items there before we moved in 2023 that we weren't ready to take with us or weren't willing to put in the garage sale pile yet.  As soon as I opened the doors today, I realized that my feelings had completely changed.  There were quite a few tubs that I thought that our family could part with and many of the toys that I had saved from my childhood days that needed to be donated or sold such as my Raggedy Ann collection.  

Once I downsized my things, I decided to contact all of the Heinisch children to see what they were willing to part with today.  I knew that my mom had plenty of room to keep our childhood toys, but it just didn't seem practical anymore.  I was happy that they all agreed with me.  Each one looked through the pictures that I had sent out and agreed to get rid of most of it this summer.  After putting their beloved items aside, I moved multiple tubs downstairs and reorganized the closet.  I couldn't believe the difference.  I also decided that I wouldn't need to downsize the closet again.  Everyone had picked the exact same items to keep that they originally told me to hang on to a few years ago - Cal's kept the Ninja Turtles and baseball helmets; Brett wanted the Weebles, Mr. Men and Burger King Star Wars toys; Meg asked me to hold onto the Barbie house and doll bed, while Cameron picked the army toys and toy horse he used for lassoing to be put back.  

The memory closet wasn't the only one that I cleaned out today.  I also went through the one storing all of the household items that someone might need down the road.  I found Meg's vacuum and my purple dishes which both got put into the "moving to Florida pile."  I then sorted through everything else, sent pictures out and once again moved quite a bit to the garage.  Needless to say, I was absolutely exhausted by lunchtime.  

Thankfully, today wasn't all about working.  I met Mary and Ken for an early dinner at the Channel Marker.  I enjoyed catching up with them.  I made it back in time to play Jeopardy against my dad and to watch the latest Chicago Fire and Chicago PD.  All of which made for a very relaxing evening after such a busy day.  

Dinner with Cal & Meg, Packing and Resting

I was happy to have spent the day in Chicago yesterday.  I was able to help Nick and Meg get a lot of packing done.  I focused mostly on the breakables - glass chickens, cows and artwork.  I also sorted through all of the desk items and got them boxed up as well. 

In the evening, Cal, Meg and I went to dinner at Paradise Park.  I absolutely love that restaurant and thoroughly enjoyed talking to my two “middle” children.  They had a lot to share, especially with Meg’s upcoming move and Cal and Maggie’s recent one to Lincoln Park.  It was nice to know that they were each very happy.  We stayed long enough for them to have a second drink before heading back to Meg’s apartment.  Nick had been at RCIA, so he met us there afterward where we did some more packing and listened to vinyls.  

This morning, I left for Syracuse, stopping at a few stores along the way.  I was thankful to see my parents, enjoyed lunch at Chubbie’s on tenderloin day, and rest while watching some of our favorite game shows including a new one or two.  I also appreciated the day of rest.  I was absolutely exhausted from all of the traveling and packing.  An evening in the easy chair was exactly what I needed.  

Memory Keeper No More

 Last week, Meg and Nick had dinner with Dan and his family. They enjoyed seeing them one last time before moving to Florida.  As an added bonus, they were able to pick up the items that Phil and Doug wanted to keep from the boxes that Dan had cleared out of Carl’s condo.  I was glad that they were able to get them for us, but wasn’t prepared for how much there was for me to sort through.  I started last night and was pretty frustrated when I went to bed.

I would like to say that I felt a lot better about everything today, but in the end, I didn’t.  I had spent a lot of time downsizing over the past few years.  Thus, I thought that many of the items that were being kept were ridiculous.  I was surprised by how upset I got today, but I believe I reacted that way because I realized from sorting through those boxes that Carl valued those possessions more than he did our family.  There were very few pictures or memories of us or of his children when they were younger.  His note that his great grandchildren would love all of the artwork and hearing about his life in the peace corp represented an overinflated opinion of himself.  My children would never be interested in artwork from a grandfather that did not pay any attention to them or support them while they were growing up.  I know that would have meant a lot more to them than a few pieces of artwork from a time period before their father was even born.  

Even with my negative feelings, I did carefully repack everything into two boxes for Meg to bring to her dad in a few weeks.   I understood why Doug wanted to keep some of the Nigerian art work as it had been a part of his life since he was a child.  I remembered him showing it all to me the first time I visited his home in DeKalb.  If he had been with me, I believe that we could have sorted through it all and downsized some of it before bringing it to Florida.

The amount of items that Phil wanted to keep were another story.  They were heavy, bulky and for the most part not of any importance.  Bank certificates from the 1970s and duplicate pictures of trips that none of us went on weren’t necessary, but he insisted on keeping them.  I was annoyed as I had to drag them around for the week so that Doug could bring them back to Ocala next weekend.  One Illini yearbook alone  was over 5 pounds.  Since no one in the Heinisch family was famous and there wasn’t going to be a museum in their honor, I really did not want to keep everything as I had learned from Father Mike last year that very few of us would be remembered in 100 years, so keeping all of our possessions wasn’t important.  Living a good Christian life was.  Phil did promise to store all of the items himself if we got them to him, and also agreed to buying me a bottle of cherry vodka for my troubles.  I didn’t stop complaining about it after I heard that, but it did help.  Either way, after this week, I  am officially retiring as memory keeper of unwanted items.   

Visiting Paula and Gabrielle

While Meg and I were driving home from Karen’s shower, Brett and Nick spent the evening hanging out at a new brewery in Bloomington, Heartworks.  I stopped by to pick them up after dropping Meg off downtown to meet Mallory.  Once we got back to Brett’s apartment, he and Nick decided to spend the evening playing a video game.  With Cameron busy as well, I used the time to rest, watch Chicago Med and work on the computer.  I had really enjoyed yesterday and today, but was completely exhausted by all of the activity.

This morning, Brett and I worked on a moving plan.  It included a list of items to be donated, moved or thrown away.  Doug agreed to help next Friday when he was up.  Brett and I both felt very good about what we accomplished.  Cameron stopped by this morning to see Meg and Nick before we left and by noon, the three of us were heading to Indy to visit Paula and Gabrielle.

Paula and Gabrielle had unpacked quite a bit since I last visited in September.  Everything looked great and we all enjoyed the meal that they had brought in for lunch.  The best part of the afternoon, however, was catching up with the two of them.  Paula filled us in on her work, Alex’s wedding plans and her recent plans with friends.  Gabrielle talked about her latest adventures including applying to grad school at IU’s anthropology department and her weekend back in Syracuse.  The four hours that we were there flew by quickly. I was so very happy to see both of them and couldn’t wait to visit with them again.  

Karen's Shower

Meg and I attended Karen’s shower this afternoon in New Albany and had a fantastic time.  It was hosted by her maid of honor, Evonne, at the home of the mentor couple for Brett and Karen.  We also met Karen’s mother, Jean, and several of her other bridesmaids.  Everyone was very nice and extremely supportive of Karen.  

Besides meeting everyone, Meg and I also enjoyed the theme of the shower - a Jane Austen tea.  It was beautifully decorated and the games were a lot of fun.  Meg finished second place in the “Do you know Karen game” with a little help from Brett, and our team won the Jane Austen trivia game.  

Karen received a lot of wonderful gifts that were on her register and a few that weren’t.  Grandma Jane sent a waffle maker for the couple as Brett had really wanted one, and the Barnhart family gave them a gift card to Target as well.  I was extremely proud of the “Showering Karen with Advice” book that our family put together for Karen.  It provided her with the answer to “How do you know Brett?” plus date night suggestions, Marriage Advice, and a favorite memory of Brett along with a recipe to try.  Meg made Karen a memory box that she also enjoyed very much.  Overall, it was a wonderful day and Meg and I were extremely happy to be a part of it.