Bittersweet

We made it to Newman Center by 9:30 this morning.  The wedding was at 10 and Doug wanted us there early.  It was almost surreal when we walked into the church.  We had not been to mass there since Jeanette's funeral and a flood of instant memories returned.  There were definitely differences, however, from that August afternoon in 2014.  Poinsettias decorated the church instead of peace lilies and a photographer was busy taking pictures.

We greeted Maury and Emey before taking a family photo.  Pictures of the grandchildren were taken next as well as one of Carl and the boys.  We met the priest and Brett practiced his readings.  As we took our seats in the pews behind Carl the pianist started Cannon in D for the processional.  I watched Marina walk down the aisle and then turned to Meg.  It was at that time that I saw the tears rolling down Meg's cheeks.  I soon joined her with tears of my own as did her Aunt and cousins.  I thought of the two little girls running through the house last night looking for their beloved "football" poster.  It dawned on me as we sat in that church watching their Grandpa get remarried, that they weren't really looking for their poster or crafts or even photographs.  They were looking for their Grandma at least in spirit.

The girls had found her spirit in mass today and that was when the tears started.   I couldn't blame them for crying as memories of my own beloved Grandfather came back to me and the tears I shed at his funeral.  It was the shared conversations, the stories he told, the support that he showed me and my family, his love  - that was what I was crying for.  It was what the Heinisch grandchildren felt today even though they did not all show it with tears.

The wedding mass continued with the priest giving a nice homily talking about family and never forgetting the past.  Carl talked of the spiritual connection that he felt with Marina and the hole in his heart that she helped fill.  He also talked of joy and the commitment of marriage.  Tears came down even harder at that point for some.  As we headed to the luncheon afterward Doug, Cal and Cam talked about their favorite memories of Grandma Heinisch.  Meg and I still had tears to dry before we were ready to join in.  Brett had done such a wonderful job with the readings today,  I finally asked him how he could stay composed through it all.  He summed up the feelings of the day perfectly with "I am truly happy for Grandpa Heinisch.  Until today, however, I did not realized how much I missed Grandma Heinisch."  Being happy for one person while your own heart is breaking, that is the true definition of bittersweet.

You Can Go Home Again!

It was a very busy day for all of us.  We had to make it to piano, oboe and pack for DeKalb.  Doug wanted to leave as soon as he got home from work and we did our best to be ready.  He ended up staying a little longer than he thought, but we had everything done by the time he pulled in and were on the road by 5 p.m.

Traffic was light on the way to DeKalb.  Our plan was to make it there by 7:30 central time so that we could join Phil, Carl, Marina and Dan's family for dinner.  We had no problem making it there on time.   It had been over 2 years since the last time all of the Heinisch boys and their families were together at Carl's home.  I didn't really think about that until we sat around the table eating pizza and sharing stories.  So many shared memories - not all remembered by each member of the family, but fun to hear just the same.

The guys headed to the basement to play pool after we ate.  Addie and Meg spent the rest of the evening searching through the house looking for crafts that they worked on when they were last together.  They were sad to find none of them - especially a beloved "football" game that they drew on poster board with their feet and toes as stencils with Grandma.  The bonus for them though was the photographs that they found from Dan, Phil and Doug's childhood.

After several hours of catching up and a lot of laughter (and trash talking from Uncle Dan), we headed to the Hampton Inn on the other side of DeKalb.  Carl had paid for two rooms for us, which Meg and I really appreciated.  Cal tried the fitness room, Doug ironed, and Brett, Meg, Cam and I played Oregon Trail.  Meg talked about her Grandma Heinisch a lot once the boys went to their room.  She found it sad being in the house, but was happy that everyone was together again.  Jeanette would have loved knowing that all of the Heinisch grandchildren were measured on her wall and we got each and every one of them to smile in the picture on the stairs - priceless.

No Words

Yesterday was a wonderful Christmas.  Everyone seemed to really enjoy their gifts and had a lot of fun playing games.  Once Cal left for the Lamles, Doug, Mom, Cam and Brett decided to play Hearts.  Before Meg and I headed to the basement for a round of Missile Command on my Atari I decided to open the kitchen window.  The weather was warm for Christmas Day and our house had heated up from all of the afternoon cooking.  With the windows open our house began to cool off, which I appreciated, but it also brought an unsettling sound - sirens.  I remember telling Doug that it didn't sound good.  I even said, "I hope it's a fire."  That may sound insensitive, but over the years there have been a lot of accidents on Bowser road.  From past experience I have come to realize that those can be quite serious.

As the night wore on we continued the game playing trying out Grandpa's new Wheel of Fortune board game and Meg's Oregon Trail card game.  I noticed that several hours had gone by and the sirens continued.  At that point I became more nervous.  Cal had left just before they started.  I texted him and he answered almost immediately.  I was glad to hear that Hannah-Marie loved her moose complete with hunting cap.  I was also relieved to know that he made it there safely.  At that point Mom and Dad headed for home and the rest of us grabbed the Wii remotes for a game of Mario Kart.  Mom did text me to let me know that it was as I feared, a bad accident.  Bowser road was closed.  I then decided to put my phone down and just focus on the game.

I left my phone on the table for the next couple of hours.  After my normal defeat at Mario Kart, Doug and I started the 1950s version of A Christmas Carol.  I decided to text Cal back as it was past 10 p.m. to see his plans for the rest of the evening.  He had already sent me a message.  I read it over and over, before I shared it with Doug - "Stephen and Kim Conrad died."  I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach.  I had just spent the week teaching with Kim.  She filled in for one of the 6th grade teachers who was out on an extended leave.  We had talked and taught together just like when I volunteered in her room or subbed at Syracuse elementary so many years ago.  Kim went Christmas caroling with our students at the nursing home on Tuesday and listened to their research presentations giving positive feedback all along the way.  In between class periods she let me know that she really had to get on one of the classes.  I wasn't surprised knowing the dynamics of the class, but enjoyed listening to her demonstrate her teaching style with even the most challenging students.  I spent the rest of the night sitting in disbelief thinking of our conversations over the past week.

Cal must have felt the same way as he came home shortly after Doug called him to get the details - someone drag racing came up the hill at Crazy Corners in the wrong lane and hit the Conrad car head-on.  I couldn't imagine a worse way for their family to end Christmas Day.  As the evening turned into a new day Brett, Cal and Meg shared stories and memories from that time period.  It was nice to hear them talk.  Some of the memories they shared were familiar, some were new.  Meg stayed up talking to me the longest.  It was well after midnight when she looked at me and said, "Mom, I've been thinking.  That could have been any of us."  She was right.  Life can change in a blink of an eye - what a tragic reminder.

Christmas Day

Now that none of the Heinisch children believe in Santa, we can actually set a rule that no one gets up before 9 a.m.  Everyone seemed to appreciate that this morning.  Cam did set his alarm so he didn't sleep too late and it only took Doug ten minutes or so to get Cal out of bed.  The Heinisch children always start with their stockings and enjoyed the candy and oranges that were left for them.  Cam was the elf this year making sure that everyone had a gift to open at the same time.  "Santa" gifts were first this year and much appreciated - iPhones for Brett and Meg, a Star Wars Lego for Cam and a BB-8 drone for Cal.

The Heinisch children enjoyed opening the rest of their gifts as well especially the ones from their siblings.  Cal and Brett insisted on buying their own this year with their own money.  I went out on a limb and got Doug new outside running clothes for cold weather and a popcorn popper.  He liked them even more than I thought he would.  He hadn't given me many ideas, so I was glad.  Doug and the Heinisch children scored points with their gifts to me - a Fantastic Beast plush blanket, a book about real princesses, a sweater, crochet set, pajamas, a FitBit and more.  I appreciated their thoughtfulness.

Mom and Dad came over around 1.  My parents enjoy giving everyone money and hiding it in their gift.  They did a great job with Cal's as it took a hint from me to help him find it.  After gifts we had a delicious ham dinner made by Doug and desserts baked by Grandma Jane.  The rest of the afternoon was spent playing pool, watching NBA and trying out the new board games.  Cal left for HM's late in the day and Mom and Dad went home around 8 p.m. or so.  It was a wonderful day to enjoy with family and celebrate the birth of Christ.

A New Tradition

On Christmas Eve there are so many traditions that the Heinisch family has come to enjoy.  The morning always starts off with cookie baking with Doug.  After that there are usually last minute gifts to wrap and then time to get ready for children's mass.  We have a new priest this year, but mass remained the same with the children gathered around the nativity.  After mass we open Godparent gifts.  Following the gifts we start a light dinner of summer sausage, cheese and crackers while watching It's a Wonderful Life.

Today was followed the same pattern of Christmas Eves of the past except for the one new tradition Cameron started.  While demonstrating a baseball stance in Super Mario he leaned back a little too far and took out the Christmas tree.  That ended the game for awhile, but thankfully only a couple of branches were damaged and no gifts were lost.  After thinking about it, this actually may not have been a new tradition.  Brett face planted at Christmas Eve mass a couple of years ago and Cam ripped his pants while kneeling for a picture by the tree last year.  Maybe falling down is a Heinisch family comedy tradition.  No matter what it made the day even more memorable.  All too soon they will be off with their own family making their own traditions.  Therefore I will enjoy this day all the better.

Miles Lab

Doug had the day off today and wanted all of us to try a restaurant that he had been hearing a lot of positive reviews for - Miles Lab.  It was in Elkhart close to NIBCO field where Meg plays 7 on 7.  The decor reminded me of Maria's in North Webster, but the menu was different.  Everyone at Doug's work raves about their hamburgers, so three of us decided to try one.  Doug's had a fried egg and bacon on his.  Mine was more traditional with just bacon and cheese.  Cal was the most adventurous trying fried egg and peanut butter!!  We were all three happy with our choices as were Meg, Brett and Cam.  She had the grilled cheese, Cam the grilled chicken and Brett had the best fish he has had since returning  from New England.  My favorite part of lunch was listening to the Heinisch children remininse about Christmas gifts over the years.

After lunch we all stopped at Target for some last minute shopping.  We made it home just as the drizzling freezing rain started.  I was glad that we were in town for the rest of the night.  Doug made dinner for everyone and Cam, Meg Brett, and Cal watched Rugrats Santa Experience and Garfield's Christmas.  Afterward Cal headed over to HM's.  I still had laundry to finish, but we even put a Christmas flair on that as Meg and I watched "Meet Me in Saint Louis."  Later in the evening Brett, Cam and I played Blockus and Sequence.  Doug tried to make it up through A Christmas Carol, but only I did.  Cal was home before it was over and he and Cam enjoyed more Mario Super Sluggers.  What an enjoyable way to spend the day before Christmas Eve.

Day One is A Lot of Fun

Cal took advantage of Hannah-Marie's first day of vacation by taking a trip with her, her niece and Alex to Chicago.  It was the first time he had taken the train and he said it worked well even though he was out the door before the rest of us were up.  Doug did have to work today and had a productive day.  He had inventory yesterday and tied up a lot of loose ends today.

Meg and I went to Amanda's to get our haircut after lunch.  I have gotten a lot of nice compliments on it since I have cut it shorter.  The only downside was that I have to get it cut more often.  After our haircuts I dropped Meg off at the bowling alley for a surprise birthday party for one of her friends.  I spent the rest of the afternoon playing games with Brett and Cam.  Cam and I finally figured out how to beat balance boat expert level.  The three of us also finished my favorite Christmas special - A Year Without a Santa Claus while playing Jedi Unleashed.  

Doug picked Meg up on his way home from work.  She had a great time, but wanted to go to tennis tonight.  Her foot was a lot better.  She couldn't run sprints, but she could do tennis drills without a problem.  Doug and I went to the new Italian restaurant in Warsaw while she was at her lesson.  It was very nice and we enjoyed the change of pace.  Brett and Cam picked up Meg at tennis and then went to Steak and Shake for dinner.  They had a lot of fun.

We all beat Cal home but not by much.  He had a fantastic time.  They went to the Bean, ate lunch at Gino's and did some shopping.  He was pretty proud of his new Space Jam shirt.  I was glad that they had fun and made it home safely.