Saying Goodbye

How do you say goodbye to someone who meant so much to you family?  How do you honor their memory?  Today we tried.  Jeanette's mass was full of scripture, song, prayers and a lovely homily about her life.  All of the grandchildren had a part in the ceremony including Brett as lector.  There were many tears shed although Cal will tell you that he and Uncle Phil were the rocks of the family, never showing emotion.  Jeanette had a lot of time to plan this mass and it was beautiful.  

As we walked outside afterward  I realized that I was emotionally drained.  There were so many people, which was a wonderful tribute to Jeanette's memory, but I wasn't sure I could greet one more mourner.  I did return after catching my breath, and the first person who came up to Doug and I was someone that I so wanted to see, Dan's friend Matt Gherke and his wife Krista.  We did a lot with Matt and Dan many years ago.  They were the altar servers when I was confirmed and for a moment time slipped away.  

I followed Doug downstairs to the luncheon celebration.  Carl's family did a very nice job decorating the tables with flowers and plants including the ones from Cam's teachers, Aunt Jan's family, the girls' soccer team and Wawasee Athletics.  Doug was already talking to another family that we hadn't seen in years, Kristy and Dave Nichols.  Kristy is by far my favorite of all of Doug's second cousins.  We did so much with them when Dave was a professor at Notre Dame.  I could have talked to her all afternoon.

We did visit with several more families, including catching up with the Montavons about Anastasia's first week in college. The trip home was memorable as we played songs, laughed and told stories.  Even the downpour through Chicago couldn't dampen our spirits.  

After the Heinisch children settled in at Mom's and we finished the unpacking to repack for Brett's trip to IU tomorrow, Doug and I had some quiet time to reflect.  I asked him my questions from above.  Doug didn't hesitate with his answer. He said that he had had a lot of time to think these past three years and he didn't want to sound like a cliche, but this quote from Rocky VI says it best, "Nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward."  Doug continued with, "That's what my Mom did.  She took a hard hit, but she kept moving forward.  That's what our family will do too.  It is the best way to honor her memory."