Today Meg asked me if Halloween was still my favorite holiday. After a Christmas like today I could understand her question. I tried to explain to her why I favored Halloween as a child, but Meg could never comprehend my feelings and I hope she never does. Christmas at our house growing up ceased to be magical after my brother died. It was through no fault of my parents, grandparents or me. We all tried to carry on, but Christmas was the one holiday that I always missed my brother the most. I am sure that my parents and grandparents felt the same way, but I never asked them about it. Once my grandparents moved to Florida we spent all of our Christmas breaks with them. It helped, but I still remember Christmas as a lonely holiday. I spent a lot of Christmas Eves praying that God would make our Christmas happy once again - a time where we would all laugh and our family would feel whole again.
Time marched on and many Christmas days passed. My prayers had changed drastically over the years, and I spent Christmas Eve thanking the Lord for another year of health and happiness in our family. I had actually forgotten that I had asked God for happy Christmas Days until last year at children's mass. All of a sudden the prayer returned in my head and I realized that God had answered it long ago. Our Christmas days were happy once again and even though my brother was still missing we had worked hard to build our own family traditions that included both Heinisch and Musser family memories. This year when Meg said this is the best Christmas ever I realized that she is right. Christmas is now once again my favorite holiday and I have thoroughly enjoyed it this holiday season.
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