I read a really great article recently about marriage. It stated that you should always remember that when you get married that you are not joining another family, you are actually starting your own. I had never thought about it that way, but felt it was great advice for newlyweds. In-laws and family dynamics are very hard for anyone to navigate, but especially for young couples.
Even though Doug and I had gotten married over three decades ago, the article really resonated with me especially after watching Brett and Karen and Meg and Nick work their way through the first year or two of married life. It reminded me of when Doug and I started our lives together almost thirty-five years ago. The hardest part was figuring out our places in both our families as individuals and as a couple. It wasn't easy, especially since we came from such different backgrounds.
I wish that I could tell twenty-five-year-old me to look at life the way the article suggested. It would have made everything easier. I hated having family obligations with a group of people that I really did not know very well. Back then, I felt as though I should understand the family dynamics when I had no idea what they were. I went to events that weren't important to me and felt extremely out of place. Instead of making me feel like I belonged, I became bitter and felt extremely unappreciated.
Thankfully, I have really come to understand this past year that the biggest family obligation I have is to my husband and my children. I have to put them first, especially Doug. It is he who I have built my life with and supporting him is my number one priority. Hopefully, we have thirty-five more years together, but even if we don't I want to know that I gave my all because starting a family with him has been the best part of my life.
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