Not arrested, didn't join the army, doesn't own a motorcycle!

Meg asked me about our parenting philosophy the other day while we were driving to Warsaw.  She noticed that for the most part we do not ground the Heinisch children or scream and yell at them.  In general we try to include them in discussions on activities that affect them.  We like them to make a lot of their own decisions providing them support when they need it.  Doug calls it "failing in a safe environment."   Thus, in the Heinisch home they are free to be, but never free from the consequences of their choices.

This doesn't mean that we do not have high expectations for them.  They all know that academics come first.  At the beginning of each trimester or semester we talk with them about a realistic GPA with the classes they have.  We also expect a high work ethic and for them to treat each other with respect.  We try very hard not to micromanage all that they do.  We realize that they will learn more from their own mistakes than being told what to do constantly.  We also encourage them strongly to try new things and adventure past the norm.  

I know there are others who do not agree with us.  There are some that believe that children have to be told what to do.  I receive a lot of unsolicited parent advice from "well-meaning" adults who are sure we must need help.  As I watch the Heinisch children succeed and fail all the time knowing they are loved, I become more and more comfortable with our type of parenting.  I believe it is our job to help them become who they want to be never who I insist they should be.  So, if you hear me say to Meg, "Not arrested, didn't join the army, and doesn't own a motorcycle," know that she or one of her brothers did something that others may not completely approve of or understand.  It was one more lesson in life that they needed to learn on their own.  

Btw - just to clarify - nothing wrong with joining the army or buying a motorcycle, just means that I don't have to worry as much!