Creating Chaos

Meg has been doing a lot of research about narcissism as she has had to interact recently with someone that would fit the description of person with that disorder.  All of her research has helped me understand better a situation that Doug has found himself continually having to deal with as well.  One thing that has completely amazed me is the chaos that a narcissist can cause. 

After Meg explained how a narcissist creates chaos, years of aguish started to make sense. For the longest time, I blamed myself for not being able to deal with the situations that the narcissist in Doug's family caused.  I thought that I was the one that was wrong.  I believed that I was asking for something unrealistic or was judging that person too harshly.  My opinion changed several years ago when this person attacked Doug after he asked them for help.  Doug had always been kind to this person, had overlooked their shortcomings, had helped them in any way possible and had believed in them.  I couldn't believe that someone would call him names or accuse of him immorality.  Doug is not perfect, but he is one of the most moral people that I know, and I was completely offended.  

Doug and I did a lot of soul searching after that incident and decided that we would no longer depend on that person for anything.  We wouldn't be mean, but we wouldn't go out of our way for them either.  We also took a long break from in person contact with them.  It did help quite a bit, but there are a few days a month that this individual will try to make our lives hectic by calling and asking us to get involved in their chaos.  Doug has been great at responding calmly, not getting involved and never taking it personally.  

I am not quite up to Doug's level, but I am getting a lot better.  I do not get as upset as I as I did in the past, and I never get involved in helping them directly.  Unfortunately, sometimes I do still take their behavior personally or try to help other family members dealing with the chaos.  Hopefully, after this last incident I will be able to remind myself that this is just their way of getting attention and that it is ok to ignore the situation.  It doesn't make me heartless; it keeps me sane.  That is what I want most of all.

 

Family Get Together

Grandma, Grandpa and I took a day trip to Polk City today.  It was my first time driving through Groveland and Polk County.  I was amazed at the building that was taking place in that area.  Everyone that has lived in Ocala for a long time complains about the growth here.  I could see what they were talking about with all of the subdivisions and apartment complexes being built near us, and all of the road congestion from increased traffic.  After today's drive and our many trips to Orlando recently, it looks like that may just be Florida in general.  

As much as I enjoyed the drive, sightseeing wasn't our main objective today.  Grandma had made plans for the three of us to meet Bobbie, Garry and his wife Mary for lunch.  Garry had picked Country Angels as our destination and greeted us at the door as the "maître' D" for our get together.  The restaurant didn't look like much, but it had wonderful food, and they let us stay and catch up for as long as we wanted.  Although Doug, Cameron and I had stopped to see Bobbie last summer, I hadn't seen "Bud" since he visited Northern Indiana in 2017.  I had always enjoyed Bobbie and her late sister Karen, but ever since we started visiting my Grandparents in Arcadia in the 1980s, Bud had always been my favorite of my mom's cousins.  He has a never-ending number of stories, is always positive and makes everyone around him laugh.  This afternoon was no different which made the afternoon even more enjoyable.  

Today was also a nice reminder of how much fun we all had when my parents and I spent our holidays on Peace River during my middle and high school days.  After seeing everyone I realized that I will always miss my Grandparents, but days like these almost make it feel like they are back with us, laughing while Grandpa puts tapioca on his salad insisting that he loved it that way instead of admitting that he really thought it was blue cheese dressing.  I had a great relationship with them and although they haven't been with us for almost twenty years now, they still are such an important part of our lives.  Nothing can change that.

Sinus Boy

For the past month Cal has had to deal with horrible ringing in his ears along with throbbing pain.  This coinciding with the start of busy season has made it even tougher on him.  He has been to the urgent care several times where he was prescribed both an antibiotic and a steroid.  They helped while he was taking them, but as soon as he stopped, the pain and ringing returned.  He was extremely frustrated when he called me earlier in the week hoping for advice on what to do next.  I felt terrible for him as he had always taken longer to recover from illnesses, especially sinus related, then the rest of our children.  I did some quick research and soon found out that the ringing can be helped by listening to white noise.  The articles said that it would neutralize the sound and reduce the anxiety that tinnitus can cause.  I suggested it to Cal and was extremely happy to hear that it had helped quite a bit.  

Today, I got better news from Cal.  He had found Mucinex Sinus Max at the pharmacy, and it had made a huge difference for him.  His sinuses started to drain right away and the ringing in his ear had subsided without the white noise.  The draining sensation felt extremely weird in his sinuses and neck, but he didn't mind as he felt so much better. 

Overall, I was thrilled that Cal was on the mend.  His recent illness reminded me of all of the times that I had to take him to the doctor for the exact same issues.  There were times that he would be on a steroid and/or antibiotic for three weeks or more before he felt better.  In 5th grade he missed fourteen days of school in one month because of illness due to sinuses.  Because of his past history, I was extremely glad that he had kept his appointment with the ENT next week even though he was feeling better.  I was also happy that he did not have an asthma attack with this illness.  Those were always the scariest and I was glad that they were a thing of the past.  

Finishing a Few Household Projects

I had told my parents before they came down that I would be in and out of the house most of today.  First, I had Bible study in the morning where we began a study of Psalms that I really enjoyed.  Second, I was in charge of a CCW luncheon get together with Robbi that was scheduled for this afternoon at McAlister's.  The food was nice, but I especially liked the fellowship with the group.

In between all of the church meetings that I had today, Grandpa and I were able to finish a few projects around the house.  First, we replaced all of the outside covers for the electrical boxes.  Three of them were broken and according to the research that I had done none of them were up to code.  I was glad for the informational video from Lowe's which told us exactly how to replace them.  The first one was a little bit difficult, especially since the project was new to us.  Thankfully, two of the others were a breeze with only one giving us a headache.  Even with the issues, we finished one in between Bible Study and McAlister's and the other three were completed in thirty-one minutes all before 3:30 this afternoon.  

The second project was a little bit harder.  I needed the sink drain in my bathroom replaced as the ring around it was completely corroded.  It was hard to take out and Grandpa had to spend almost an hour under the cabinet, but eventually we had a nice new looking drain.  I was extremely happy not only because it looked a lot better, but also because it was done just in time as the drain had completed fallen apart. 

Even with all of the projects and meetings, Grandpa and I were completely finished by the time that Doug got home from work and started dinner.  That was a nice feeling and gave us plenty of time to play Oh Hell.  The only negative on the day was the four trips that I had to make to Lowe's because I bought the wrong items twice.   

The Big Freeze

The night that Cameron left for Indiana, Doug and I moved all of the vulnerable outdoor plants to a safe spot to protect them from freezing weather.  We had done this in the past, but only for a day or two.  This year, however, we have had enough freeze warnings that we have had to keep them protected for almost three weeks. Our lanai was filled with the most vulnerable, including the lemon and lime tree, and the rest were all placed in a safe spot next to the house, in an alcove under the patio, under a rocking chair on the front porch or behind the tiki bar. Everything had gone well.  I checked on them every day and kept them watered as I read that was the best way to prevent them from freezing. I was excited to read that this Sunday would be warm enough to move them all back into their sunny spots in our yard.

Since everything has been going so well, I wasn't even worried about the freeze warning that I received Friday afternoon. It was just like all the rest, and I knew my plants were safe. Thus, I was completely shocked when I woke up to see an almost dead sun patient on my back patio. It had looked incredibly healthy yesterday, full of beautiful pink flowers.  This morning it was completely wilted. I was super sad as I had already nursed it back to health last fall when it got too much sun. It wasn’t the only outside plant that had taken a beating the last night. Our yellow hibiscus tree was brown as well.

I decided to remain optimistic and went to Lowe’s today with Grandma to buy some new pots, a red petunia for the front yard and a bag of fertilizer spikes. We spent the afternoon while Grandpa was golfing repotting the poinsettia that had almost doubled since Christmas. I also moved the pineapple into the sun and trimmed up some of its dead leaves hoping that it would grow fruit this summer. We put the hibiscus out in the sun as well, realizing that it probably wouldn’t recover. Thus, I already had plans to replace it. The biggest excitement of the day was the Better Boy tomato that I found at Lowe’s. I knew that Doug would be happy about that because he had been looking for one since November. We put it in a bigger pot and decided to replant what was left of the sun patient into a smaller pot with new soil. I was skeptical but remained hopeful that it would survive as I gave it a little bit of water and put it back in its favorite spot from last October. Hopefully all of our hard work pays off, but if not, I know that I will enjoy looking for replacements.

Checking In With Everyone

Besides going to church and taking a walk, we hung out at home for most of the day. I didn’t mind at all as it had been such a busy week and I was absolutely exhausted. I also had a few things that I wanted to get done around the house while Doug was home. We were able to get the plants finally moved back outside after such a long stretch of cold weather. We watered the yard and checked for other spring projects that we would need to get done. Doug then helped me put away the items that I brought back from Grandma‘s house that were important to me during my childhood. I thought that I would get rid of some of them, but Meg really liked the 1970s look so I kept more than I originally planned. Thankfully, I have room for them for now and she will enjoy using them.

The best part of today, however, wasn’t getting things done around the house. It was catching up with all of my children. The first one to call was Cal. He was still having problems with his ear ringing. The Prednisone that they put him on along with the nose spray made him pretty hyper, but at least he did feel somewhat better. He was busy this weekend with friends and visiting Maggie. He also enjoyed watching IU basketball and the football games.

Meg checked in with us next. She and Nick went to Milwaukee for the weekend where they visited the public market.  They also tried a few of the local breweries and took a tour of a bobblehead museum. It sounded like a lot of fun and reminded me of the times that Doug and I visited Wisconsin when we were first married.

I heard from both Karen and Brett today as well. Wedding planning is always stressful, but they had gotten a lot done this week.  We went over the plans that they had for next weekend as well. I told them that my greatest skill was organizing, and I would help wherever needed.  We made plans to check in next Friday and see what was next on the agenda so that they could keep the wedding plans rolling.

I normally don’t hear from Cameron on the weekends, but while I was paying bills, I realized that his Farm Bureau Insurance hadn’t been paid for the van. We both thought that it was due next week when the insurance renewed.  Thankfully, we got it sorted out quickly. While we were talking, we also made plans for his trip to Ocala in March during spring break. We found affordable flights that coordinated perfectly with Cal’s plans, and I even got us a room at the Riviera on Disney property.  I will have more following up to do with him as he has an essay to write for a student internship opportunity and needs to start on his IU scholarship applications.  We made a plan for both and enjoyed our conversation even if we were both upset about the IU basketball loss this afternoon.

My mom asked me when she got down here if I talk to all of my children every day. I don’t, but I do hear from them almost every day through phone calls and text. I just love that. Father Titus told us today at mass that we needed to read the Bible and find our mission in life. I found mine when I became a mother and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Gainesville . . . Revisited

We were looking for something that everyone would enjoy today, so I suggested Gainesville.  I knew there was a golf course for Grandpa Cutes, a museum for me, breweries for Doug and shopping for Grandma Jane.  Everyone seemed interested so we decided to try it.  We first dropped Grandpa off at the Gainesville public golf course for his noon tee time and then headed to the Florida Museum of Natural History on the University of Florida campus.  The butterfly rainforest was closed due to the cold temperatures, but Doug, Grandma and I didn't mind as we found the museum extremely interesting. I especially loved the "ride" on the glass bottom boat. Once we finished there, I dropped Doug off at a nearby brewery and headed to Walmart with Grandma to pick out a few items that we needed for home.  It was the biggest Walmart that either of us had visited.

Doug was done before we made it back to Grand Scheme, so he walked the short distance to his next stop, First Magnitude.  It was crowded, but he got a table, and we took our time picking him up.  I decided to once again show Grandma where Tom Petty lived.  On our way, we got stopped by the Renaissance Fair nearby and enjoyed looking at all of the costumes.  Doug was ready to go when we arrived.  Because of the fair, we decided to find somewhere to go across town and Swamp Head seemed the most logical.  It was packed there as well as they were hosting their annual Bats and Brews fundraiser.  Doug made it through the crowds, ordered a beer and enjoyed the Allman Brothers tribute band.  While he was there, Grandma and I checked out the nearby Goodwill Store.  They were having a grand reopening sale and we enjoyed nosing around.

Grandpa texted that he was on the 18th hole just as we picked Doug back up at Swamp Head.  We made it to the golf course as he walked off the last hole.  The course wasn't in the best shape, but he liked the layout and really enjoyed the three U of F students that he played with this afternoon.  They provided him with some great stories which we all enjoyed on the way to Relish for dinner.  The burgers were absolutely delicious, and it was warm enough that we could eat outside.  We made it back to Ocala with enough time to invite Phil over to play Oh Hell before everyone turned in for the night.  Grandpa was the big winner, but we all enjoyed the game.  It was a great way to end a fun day in Gainesville.  

Florida Visitors

I brought some visitors back with me from Indiana yesterday as my parents flew with me from Indianapolis to Tampa.  It had been a few years since they had flown anywhere, so I was glad that I was able to travel with them and show them the nuances of flying Southwest.  We had to be at the airport early and had several suitcases to navigate on the shuttle, but we got everything checked in and through security with plenty of time to spare before we boarded.  The flight was a quiet one and our bags were some of the first ones out of the luggage chute in Tampa.  I was thankful that I had parked in the long-term garage on Monday as we could walk to our car instead of catching another shuttle in the rain.  

It was cold yesterday with temperatures staying in the 40s all afternoon.  We warmed up with pizza and Oh Hell once Doug got home from work.  The weather was still cool today mostly staying in the 50s, but at least the sun was out.  We decided to go to a movie and picked "Flight Risk" with Mark Wahlberg.  The theater was chilly as usual, but I didn't really notice as the movie was intense.  We all enjoyed it, although I did have to close my eyes a few times. 

After the movie, we went to the Bealls Outlet and Big Lots.  Grandma and I found some clothes at the first one and I bought two new ceramic indoor planters at the second.  We stopped at Walmart on the way home to pick up hot dogs for Doug to grill for dinner.  Doug arrived shortly after we did, and made a fantastic meal of hot dogs, chicken sausage, oven-baked potatoes and chocolate cookies.  We enjoyed his cookies while we finished our game of Oh Hell which gave Grandma the first win of the trip.  Even with the loss at cards, it was a fun day here in Ocala.  

Let it Snow . . . in Florida

There was one drawback to going to Indiana this week.  It was absolutely freezing with low temperatures with two of the days below zero.  Thankfully, I prepared for it with warm clothes, a heavy jacket, and thick gloves.  I was amazed late on Wednesday afternoon when I actually took my hat off outside because it felt warm at 23 degrees.  

While everyone was dealing with a major freeze in the Midwest, Florida was the one that made the news regarding cold temperatures.  There was a major snowstorm in the panhandle that closed I-10 for the majority of the state and left almost ten inches of snow in some areas.  The snow did not reach Ocala, but there were ice warnings in Gainesville.  Doug said that it was the worst weather week here since we had moved with temperatures in the 40s and rain most days.  

After hearing this, I felt bad for the tourists that had picked this week to travel south, but not so much for the Floridians that were complaining about the weather.  I knew that it wasn't pleasant in the Sunshine State, but also realized that soon the sun would return and temperatures would rebound into the 70s. Two weeks of winter weather wasn't much compared to what the Midwest had been dealing with lately.  I may dress warmer when I return to Florida, but I definitely won't complain about the "frigid" temperatures after what I just dealt with in Bloomington, especially since I don't have a return trip planned until April.  

A Day to Remember

Our family always pushes itself to the limit but today was one of the topmost busy days in the history of the Heinisch family. For some reason both Brett and I woke up before 6 AM this morning. By 6:30, I had cut his hair and was already working on a project at his apartment while he was getting ready for a dentist's appointment at 8 AM. As soon as Brett was finished, I met him at Midas so that he could his get both his tire and turn light fixed.  We went straight from there to Columbus for our first apartment tour of the day.

I had not been to Columbus in years and was interested to see what it looked like. The first complex was a remodeled Residence Inn with two-bedroom, one bath apartments available to rent. Brett liked the idea of living in a hotel, but it wasn’t quite as nice as I was hoping for, and Karen thought the living space was too small. Thankfully, the second apartment complex was a lot nicer. They had a multitude of floor plans to choose from, everything was updated, and they had a great common area with an outdoor pool, coffee bar and exercise room for the residents. I really liked it; Karen thought the pictures looked fantastic and Brett was impressed with all of it. While we were enjoying lunch at McAllister‘s waiting for our third appointment of the day, Brett and I went over his finances as the Midas repairs were more than he thought they would be. I wasn’t really surprised as I noticed on the drive home Monday night that his brakes needed some work. Once we got through that, we made it to our third apartment without any issue. It was a sister property of the second one we saw with apartments with the same layout. Brett liked the two-bedroom, two bath with the garage, but both Karen and I really liked the two-bedroom, two bath with a desk and more living space. In the end everyone was very excited to have some options for when they get ready to move at the end of May.

Next, Brett took me on a tour of the Extra Space Storage facilities that he works at and showed me around downtown Columbus. We made it back to Bloomington in time to let Grandma and Grandpa in, unpack what they brought for me to take back to Florida and give them directions to Cameron‘s apartment. While they were hanging out with him, Brett and I went to Men’s Wearhouse to pick out a suit for his wedding party. It wasn't exactly like he and Karen envisioned, but they both absolutely loved the consultant's suggestions. Meg was happy when she saw the pictures of the suit as well as she had suggested the same color scheme before we went.

When we got back to Brett’s, Cameron, Grandma and Grandpa we’re just finishing a game of Racko. It ended just as Cameron needed to leave for a meeting at assembly. Hall. While I was running him there, Grandma and Grandpa then played games with Brett.

Tonight, we were able to fulfill our plans from this summer by attending a performance of Clue. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was so much better than I ever thought it would be. It followed the movie pretty much exactly with a slightly different ending. It was funny and very entertaining, and thankfully shorter than a normal play. Both Brett and I were starting to wear out from such a busy day, so we were happy to be back at the apartment before 9:30 as we all had early morning wake up calls. Today was exhausting but definitely rewarding. Overall, I was thrilled with all that we had accomplished and happy to have spent time in Bloomington with Brett and Cameron.

Happy 20th Birthday Cameron

Last summer when I was in Bloomington, I noticed that a banner for the play “Clue” was hanging up at the IU auditorium.  I was super excited about that as the 1980s movie was always a favorite of our family’s.  Even better news followed when I saw that it was at IU on Cameron’s birthday.  He and I made plans for me to return so that we could celebrate his big day and see the play together hoping that others would be able to join us as well.

I arrived late night with a few changes to our original summer plans.  First, we weren’t quite able to get the entire Heinisch family to join us as most had to work on Cameron’s birthday.  Second, we had to buy tickets to Clue for the day after Cameron’s 20th since he had a meeting tonight.  Lastly, none of us realized that we would be having this celebration during a frigid week with temperatures in Bloomington well below zero. Thankfully, we were able to navigate the changes and weather well and Cameron had a wonderful day.

First, I picked Cameron up around noon so that we could make a few stops before Cora’s class ended including one at the record store where Cameron found both a vintage Beatles album and one from the Supremes.  Cameron next chose Big Woods for lunch, and I enjoyed getting to know Cora while we ate.  She was just as Cameron described her and I was glad that they were so compatible.  We stayed there talking longer than I planned, which was ok with me since none of us were excited about going back outside.  We did make it to Kirkwood afterward to shop at a few of the IU stores. We didn’t find anything but had fun window shopping and fortunately didn’t freeze to death either.  

Before I dropped them off for the afternoon, we ran to the College Mall so that Cameron could get a free "birthday" smoothie. I then went to Brett's apartment for the evening where I enjoyed the warmth and worked on several projects.  Brett picked up Crumbl cookie for Cameron's birthday on his way home from work and still made it back to the apartment with enough time to change clothes before Cameron and Cora arrived.  We enjoyed Pizza X together and watched Cameron open his gifts.  He received a cute Lions shirt and keychain from Cora, a Swamp Head flannel from Doug, a Red Hot Chili Peppers vinyl from me and even a Bob Dylan biography from Robert Zimmerman. Cameron loved all of his gifts with the biggest surprise of the night, a 1970s fight song vinyl from Brett featuring the top forty marching band school songs.  Afterward, we played Sorry and introduced Cora to Bluey before they left for the evening ending a wonderful day celebrating Cameron's 20th.  

We’re #3

Tonight’s National Championship Football game was played between Notre Dame and Ohio State.  The majority of our family was hoping for a Buckeye win with Brett being the lone supporter of the Irish.  It may seem strange to those on the outside as to why there was such anti-Notre Dame animosity coming from so many of us, especially since we are Catholic.  When asked, I try to explain how tired I was of hearing about them when I was growing up.  Even our local television was named WNDU.  That never bothered me as much of the fans, however.  Most were just loud mouth locals still talking about the glory days of Lou Holtz.

I watched the game on the plane while flying to Indianapolis this evening.  I thought that it would be a nice distraction from the turbulence on the flight.  Instead, the plane was filled with obnoxious Notre Dame fans, one of whom screamed loudly in the beginning when they drove down the field eighty-five yards for a 7-0 lead at the end of the first quarter.  Thankfully, Ohio State took control from there and ended up winning 31-23 in the end.

Now that the College Football Playoffs are over and there is talk about the seasons that were, my thought would be that the Hoosiers ended the year #3 in the nation.  The only two teams that beat us were playing tonight.  Plus, we beat Michigan in the regular season who was one of only two teams that handed Ohio State a loss this year.  I realize that most sportscaster might not agree with me, but I ran my theory past both Parce and Cameron and they agreed 100%.  It may have been a biased audience, but I felt it was enough support for me to shout “We’re Number Three!”

Wedding Planning

Brett and Karen had a fantastic weekend in New Albany. A lot of of it revolved around wedding planning, but they did still get to go out to their favorite local brewery and even saw the movies sonic the hedgehog three. I talk to them multiple times and enjoyed hearing about all that they accomplished.

Yesterday, they met with their mentor a couple from the church. They had a wonderful dinner with them and really enjoyed all of the advice that they were given. Brett and Karen also made time to go over the wedding party list and who all would need tuxes for the big event. They looked at their photography request and talked about the music that they would like played at their reception.

Today was the part that I was sad that I missed out on as they got to try multiple types of cakes from a local bakery. They loved several of the flavors and surprise me when they both said that they really didn’t like white cake. I sent them pictures of the cake from my wedding and awesome megs. They felt pretty good about what they wanted, but thought they would try one more bakery in February when they go out and also do a little wine tasting then to choose the wines for the reception hall. I was really happy that all had gone welland was happy to know that wedding plans were moving forward smoothly. June will be here before we know it.

Why Enough is Never Enough

Several months ago, I was working in the church gift shop during a particularly slow time.  I spent the hour looking through all that they had for sale with most of my interest going to the bookshelf.  Several of the books looked intriguing, but the one I decided to take home with me was "Why Enough is Never Enough:  Overcoming Worries about Money - a Catholic Perspective."  I was interested in it as our family was dealing with a situation concerning someone else's greed and I thought that this book would help me understand better why some people hoard all of their money.

I had a few other books to finish before I started my new book, but once the New Year rang in, I decided that I wanted to make it a priority.  In the end I was incredibly glad that I did.  The book not only explained greed, but also almsgiving, generosity and envy.  It didn't just help me understand better the issue our family was having but also made me give a lot more thought to my own ideas about money and giving.  Doug and I believed a lot of the author's perspective, especially on helping those in need and giving to our own family when they could use the help instead of accumulating great wealth to pass on to them once we have died.  According to the book, having a million dollars when you die just means that you didn't do enough for others in your lifetime.  That was our attitude as well.

Finishing the book this week couldn't have been better timing.  Meg called me to let me know that a family member asked her a tax question about getting the most out of what they had given to the church this year.  The question fit perfectly into the chapter "generosity and virtue" which explained that giving was supposed to be about the joy of helping someone else not about what you could get out of it.  Scamming the system and trying to get more than your share wasn't actually part of God's plan.  Thankfully, Meg already understood that and said that she wouldn't be available to help.  

Teaching Assistant

When Cameron finished all of his classes in December, one of his professors asked him if he would like to be a teaching assistant for the stats class next semester. He told her that he would think about it and would get back to her soon. When he first talked to me about it, he said that he really wasn’t very interested because it wasn’t his favorite math class. After giving it more thought, he came back and said that he was going to go ahead and contact the professor as he had been wanting to get a job, he was good at stats, and it would look great on his résumé. I couldn’t have agreed more and was happy to hear that he was pursuing the opportunity.

Over Christmas break, Cameron heard from the director of teaching assistance for statistics. He had Cameron fill out a few forms and give times that he would be available to work. He also told him that he would let him know if they would be able to use him. Just after the New Year, Cameron got the confirmation that there was a position for him and that he was looking forward to the new challenge. He began his orientation videos, filled out his I-9 and even found a copy of his birth certificate to turn in so that he could get paid.

Cameron‘s class started this week, and he really enjoyed it. He was able to help some students, do some studying on his own, and set up office hours on Sundays. I was super happy to hear that all had gone well, and was glad that he would have a little bit of spending money this semester that he had earned himself. His older siblings are worked while they were in college, so I was especially glad that he decided to follow in everyone else’s footsteps. Being independent financially is such an important part of a young adult’s life. Plus, He will really appreciate the extra cash when he takes Cora out for Valentine’s Day.

Colonoscopy Part 2

Doug first had a colonoscopy three and a half years ago when we still lived in Syracuse.  Overall, it went well, but the doctor did find several benign polyps. Because of that and Doug's family history of cancer, Dr. Gerig recommended having another one in five years.  Fast forward to last spring when Doug was in the imaging office having an x-ray for his chronic cough.  The radiologist saw a concerning spot near his duodenum and recommended MRI.  We thought that was a great idea because it would also scan his abdominal area.  Doug was also at high risk of pancreatic cancer and that would take care of that test for the year.  Of course, we weren't done then.  The radiologist saw another concerning spot that led to a CT scan.  That one was the most worrisome as it showed something in the colon.  Once the gastroenterologist here recommended a colonoscopy, we hesitated.  We knew that the chance of having cancer only three years after a colonoscopy was less than 1% plus Doug really didn't want to go through the procedure early unless absolutely necessary.  I couldn't blame him for that.

Because Doug was switching jobs and insurance in October, the billing office suggested that we wait and have the colonoscopy until after the new year.  That way we wouldn't meet our deductible the last three months of the year and then start over in January.  That sounded good to us, and we rescheduled for January 16th.  As today drew closer, Doug and I both started to question if the procedure was worth his time, the money and all of the prep that it took to have a colonoscopy.  Doug called our family doctor to see if he could just redo the original CT scan.  Because the radiologist had written that there was a significant concern about the spot, she felt better with the colonoscopy.  We trusted her and Doug started the prep Tuesday night.

I must have been having "sympathy pains" for Doug yesterday as I really didn't eat much or maybe it was just because I didn't want him to feel bad when I ate.  Either way, it was a lite food day in our house.  Thankfully, I wasn't on the high laxative, only liquid diet that Doug was.  I am sure that it was miserable, but he didn't complain.  The nice part of the process was that Doug and I got to spend a lot of time together as he did his prep while working at home.  Once he was done with SI Goldman for the day, we played Ticket to Ride and watched the 1982 movie "Deathtrap", a favorite of mine and now Cal's.

Today was a tough one for Doug as he couldn't drink anything after 8 a.m. for his 2:15 procedure.  We got to the surgery center early, and then had to wait well over an hour to be called back for surgery.  I was happy to be asked back when it was over but was appalled at the facility.  There were no rooms, only curtains.  As soon as Doug was dressed, they moved him to a chair by the utility sink to wait for the doctor.  He wasn't offered a drink, food or even water.  We waited over 40 minutes next to two other patients in chairs for the doctor to violate every HPAA rule that I had ever read when he announced each person's results in front of everyone.  

The good news for us was that Doug's colonoscopy was clear and that there were no areas of concern.  We were both very glad to hear that.  We also learned from the procedure that Doug absolutely hated being put under and likened it to the final scene of the Blair Witch project when the boy gets "wacked" in the corner.  I laughed about that all night.  

Yellowstone and The Old Man

Last week I finally caught up on to the current episode of Chicago Fire.  It took me quite a bit longer to get through than Chicago PD.  There were a lot of episodes each season and more seasons to watch.  I did like the series, just not as much as PD.  I think it was because I like crime shows such as Law & Order.  Chicago Fire was more of a nighttime soap opera.  

Once I finished Fire, I decided to take a break from all of the rest of the Chicago series and watch a few other series that I hadn't watched yet.  The first one was Yellowstone.  It had been almost two years since I last watched the first half of season five of the cowboy series and wanted to see how it all would end.  It was strange at first without Kevin Costner, since he played the main character, but once I got over that, I really liked it.  It was definitely sad, but thankfully didn't have the violence of the previous seasons.  I loved that they tied up each characters' story, even the minor ones, and that there were no questions to be answered when the series ended, except for "I wonder who is in the spin off series."

The Old Man was a lot different than Yellowstone.  It ended on a cliffhanger with a major character missing.  Since the series will not be picked up for a third season, I guess I'll never know what happens to him.  Even with the ending leaving me wondering what's next, overall, I did enjoy it.  The story was intriguing, and the characters were complex.  Even with that said, I wouldn't probably recommend it to anyone unless they really liked the first one and wanted to see what happened when Jeff Bridges' daughter went missing.  It's just too good of a show to know that there will not be an official end to it.  

Back To a Routine

I called Brett last Monday when I was driving home from the Orlando airport.  As I was talking to him about the winter storm and picking up Cameron in Indianapolis, I started to cry.  The reality that the holidays were over and that my children were all back in the Midwest was causing these tears to flow.  I didn't want to bring down the mood, so I tried to talk about something else.  That's when Brett gave me some advice that really helped me these past two weeks. 

Brett said that it was ok to be sad as that was part of life.  The best way to combat those feelings, however, was to get back to a routine.  I had no desire to take that advice.  I just wanted to sit in my house and feel sorry for myself.  Thankfully, I listened to Brett instead of the negative thoughts in my head.  I even went to a church meeting the evening that Cameron left.

Since then, I have balanced the CCW ledger with the church bookkeeper, worked in the gift shop, put away all of the Christmas decorations, cleaned the house and did some shopping. I even went to lunch with my friend from CCW, Robbi, so that we could plan a social activity for the women of our group.  It was hard at first to get back to a routine, but it did help the blues that I felt after our holiday celebration was over.  

My family is a blessing to me at all times.  It doesn't matter if they are here with me in Ocala or a phone call away in the Midwest.  They are always in my heart and because of that I can make the most of what I do and keep a smile on my face when they are not with me in person.

Baby, It's Cold Everywhere

I thought last November that I had read that we would have a warm, dry winter because it was a La Nina year.  I must have been dreaming as that has not been the reality here or elsewhere in the country.  In fact, from what I am hearing from long time Ocala locals, this has been the longest spell of cold winter that they have had in quite some time.  

I know that I should not complain about the cold since it is nothing compared to what everyone in Indiana and Illinois has to deal with recently.  That doesn't change the fact, however, that I thought it was absolutely freezing today and decided not to leave the house.  The clouds, rain and dreariness of the day didn't help.  Instead, I stayed warm working on the computer, catching up on a few television shows, wearing the new comfy that Doug got me for Christmas, turning on my electric fireplace and watering the lemon and lime tree that we had to move inside due to the freeze warnings.  Doug didn't even make fun of me when he got home as he had decided that it was too wet to jog outside and that he would rather just make dinner than go out.  

I promised myself when I moved to Florida that I would never wear jeans and would rarely put on a sweater.  The reality is that was a pipe dream.  Thirty degrees at night may not be frostbite weather, but it doesn't have to snowing for me to realize that I am cold, and warm clothes would make a difference.  I may soon be the one wearing a winter coat or stocking cap when we travel to Gainesville.  As long as I am warm, I do not care.  No one there knows that I lived my entire life in the Midwest and should be used to freezing temperatures.  They'll just think that I am one of those crazy Floridians that puts on a parka when the temperature dips below 60.  At least I'll fit right in with the majority.

One Bad Earache

Cal texted me yesterday to let me know that his ear was hurting and that he couldn't hear very well out of it.  I wasn't too surprised by that as he had been having problems when he was here at Christmas.  I was, however, concerned as he said that it had gotten worse when he was taking a walk a few days ago and that everything was muffled.  He couldn't even listen to music as it was too distorted (although I thought that might help with Bob Dylan's voice.)

After texting him for a while about it, Cal decided to not wait to see an ear doctor and went to the closest urgent care.  I was very glad to hear that.  Doug's aunt had an issue with her ear and waited too long to see a physician.  She ended up losing part of her hearing.  Cal texted back later in the afternoon to say that it was an ear infection and that he would be starting an antibiotic today.  That was great news.  I know that it will still be a few days before he is completely healed as Cal always takes longer to recover from an illness than his siblings due to his compromised immune system, but hopefully by next weekend he will be back to normal and able to listen to his favorite musical artists again.  

Gainesville is The Big Time

Phil, Doug and I spent the afternoon in Gainesville today.  It has become one of our favorite Florida towns, and I could see Phil moving there now that he has quit his job with Edward Jones.  I had found a few new breweries online that the guys hadn't tried and told them that I would be their designated driver if they wanted to go.  It would also give me a chance to do some shopping for Cameron's birthday.  

I mapped out a path for our trip starting with the one furthest from our home circling around to two others before ending our day at Swamp Head.  All four breweries had outdoor seating, but we mostly stayed inside as the temperatures remained in the mid-forties for most of the day.  Doug and Phil were amazed at how many people were wearing winter coats and stocking caps, but without the sunshine today, I thought it was cold enough for both.  The guys had a lot of fun trying different beers.  Doug got a flight at each, and Phil tried their pints.  They ended up ranking them in order of the way we visited each of the breweries with the first being last on the list and Swamp Head, of course, number one.  

Since I wasn't drinking, I instead enjoyed looking at how each one was decorated and made note of the number of patrons.  The amount of customers correlated with how we ranked the breweries which I thought solidified our opinions of all.  Although the atmosphere at Swamp Head will always be my favorite, I did enjoy the "swamp monster" outside of one of the breweries.  It reminded me of a Scooby Doo villain or the infamous Swamp Ape that I made Cameron chase this summer on our trip through the Everglades.  Overall, it was a fun afternoon and my reward for driving was dinner at Las Margaritas. Between that and the interesting conversation today, it was a great adventure for all.  

Should I Stay or Should I Go

Brett texted me this afternoon to ask if I thought he should stay in a hotel tonight in Columbus.  Since I hadn't really paid attention to the weather in Indiana since the storm aftermath on Tuesday, I was a little bit surprised by the question.  I knew Cameron was on his way to the grocery store, so I called him to see what he thought about the roads.  He confirmed that they weren't that great and that it might make sense for Brett to stays.  That's when I used all of the skills that I learned about Indiana 511 this week to help Brett.  

The first thing that I did was check the travel advisory on the Indiana Department of Traffic website.  Thankfully, neither Columbus nor Bloomington was in the red zone, so Brett would be able to travel if needed.  Next, I looked at the radar on the weather channel.  The current snow was to continue until 11 p.m.  Since I didn't know how hard it was coming down, I turned to the Indiana snowplow cameras posted on the 511.org website.  It showed real time road conditions from the cameras attached to the snowplows and the poles along the main highways.  As soon as I saw a picture of the current situation on SR 46, I sent it to Brett.  He texted back, "hotel it is!"

Brett called me when he got off of work to see if I could help him come with a hotel close to his work and near a restaurant so that he could eat dinner.  After reading the reviews and prices to Brett, he had me book him a room at the Days Inn.  The price was well within his budget, the room was nice, and he was able to eat his Marco's pizza, watch some videos, work on his current story and even do some exercising without worrying about traveling on the slippery roads.  It made for a fun evening and the added bonus was that he would only have a ten-minute drive to work in the morning.

I hung up the phone with Brett tonight happy that I had been able to help him even though I wasn't close to Columbus or Bloomington.  I was also proud of the fact that he, just like the rest of our children, was financially stable and had plenty of money saved for nights like tonight. Karen texted me tonight to let me know that she appreciated me helping Brett this evening.  It was great to feel appreciated, but most importantly, it was nice to know that our family does not have to rely on others to help them out and can make the decisions needed to stay safe and happy when an unexpected event occurs.  

A New Work Environment

Meg started her new tax accounting job in Naperville yesterday. It was a lot different that she was used to as she had a manager that she would report to directly and a principal that would check in on her daily.  They would answer any questions that she had, provide training for items that she hadn't worked on in her previous job and would also check the client hours that she worked weekly.  Everyone was friendly, they took her to lunch and made sure that she had received her holiday party invitation for later in the month.

Meg's previous job hadn't been as helpful to her.  She was overwhelmed, had no one to answer her questions and was criticized when she made a mistake.  It wasn't the experience that Cal had had, but he worked in a completely different division of the company.  Meg left in December feeling overworked and unappreciated.  She had also started to doubt her accounting skills.  Two days on the new job had already restored her confidence and she was thankful for the chance to learn, grown and earn some money.  

I was happy to hear that all went well. Experience had taught me that working in a miserable environment led to depression and anxiety.  No amount of money was ever worth that.  I was also glad that she felt better about her accounting skills.  I knew that she was a much better accountant that she was given credit for previously.  She just needed support and guidance.  Thankfully, she will get both now. 

What a Difference a Few Hours North Made

It absolutely amazed me that while Southern Indiana was hit with almost 10 inches of snow, northern Indiana pretty much had nothing. Even Chicago was left unscathed by the winter storm, and Cal and Meg were able to continue their lives as normal. Cal spent his time the last few days working. He had taken a lot of time off over Christmas and had some catching up to do with the start of busy season upon him. Maggie had also switched jobs and had to travel north of the city for the new position. I was extremely happy to hear that her training had gone well and that there was no ice or snow to drive through.

Meg spent her Monday in Syracuse with Grandma and Grandpa. She gave them their Christmas gifts which they loved, a Willie Nelson book for Grandpa with circus peanuts and jewelry that Meg made for Grandma. While she was there, she also got her haircut from Amanda and had dinner with Kyle, Nancy and Millie before she returned to Illinois. She called me on the way home to let me know that there was some ice in Gary which she didn’t like but it was nothing that she couldn’t handle. Thankfully, she made it home without incident, and my children in Chicago felt fortunate that the winter storm had decided to stay south of them. 

Indiana wasn't the only place that Meg made it to this week.  She got to spend Tuesday at Midway as well.  Nick was on lay over there and they had time to get lunch and take a tour of his plane.  Meg had never seen it before and was glad to finally do so.  When she texted me the pictures, I was amazed at not only his plane, but also at how little snow they had in Chicago.  It was amazing what a difference the weather was just a few hours north of Indianapolis.  Maybe this is the last of the bad weather for the MIdwest, and that soon everywhere will be clear. That might just wishful thinking on my part, but hopefully not.  

Change of Plans

Originally, Brett was supposed to pick Cameron up at the Indianapolis airport yesterday when he landed. Brett had had the day off because he had a dentist appointment in the morning, so the timing was perfect. Unfortunately, winter storm Blair threw a wrench in our plans. Monroe County was listed in the red for travel warnings until 9 PM last night, which was also when the snowplows finally took a pass at Brett’s apartment complex parking lot.  

Cameron had said that he could wait at the airport until Brett was free. I also knew that we could put him up in a hotel close to the airport until he could take the shuttle the next morning back to Bloomington. He and I had already decided that we were going to cancel his haircut and dental appointments for this week in Syracuse as the weather wasn’t cooperating with a trip north.

While Cameron was waiting at the airport gate in Orlando yesterday, he texted Cora about his situation. Although the solution that we had come up with was good one, it would have meant for a lot of downtime in the Indianapolis airport or an overnight stay with not much for Cameron to do. Cora and her dad decided that they would just come and get Cameron so that he could spend the night at their house. I was incredibly thankful that they offered to do that. I knew as a family that we would do the same thing but hated imposing on someone else. Cameron said that they were happy to have him there, and that the roads north of Indy were nothing like the ones that Brett was dealing with back in Bloomington. I was extremely thankful to hear that all went well with Cameron's trip to Indianapolis and very glad that they would also be able to take Cora and Cameron back to Bloomington tomorrow so that they could get ready for spring semester. Cameron decided the best way to thank them was with Crumbl cookie. I couldn’t have agreed more.

Saying Goodbye

Cameron was scheduled to fly back this afternoon. We were a little concerned about his flight getting out because of the snowstorm that was hitting southern Indiana. We knew that yesterday a few flights had been canceled and even more had been delayed. We decided, however, that the best course of action was to go to Orlando and wait to see what happened. We didn’t just sit around the airport once we got there. Cameron and I left early enough to eat lunch together at Rock N Brews before his flight. While we were there, we witnessed a car travel too fast through the intersection outside the restaurant and flip over multiple times. How ironic it was that we were worrying about traveling with the snow in the Midwest, and somebody in Florida just had a bad accident with no weather issues at all. Thankfully, we saw him get out of the car on his own and make it to the ambulance without any issue.

After lunch, I parked at the airport and went in with Cameron just in case his flight was delayed or canceled. There were several cancellations on the board, but none of them for Indianapolis. I waited until he got through the long line at security, and once I knew he was at the gate, I headed over to the local Barnes & Noble to do a little bit of shopping for his birthday. I also didn’t really want to leave Orlando until I knew he had taken off, so it was the great place to kill some time.

Surprisingly to all of us, Cameron‘s flight took off and landed without any issues. I was glad that he made it safely, but was super sad that the holidays with our children were officially over. It had been an awesome couple of weeks, and I hated to see it end. I knew, however, that the kids needed to get back to their lives, and I would never hold them back. Instead, I started making plans with Brett and Cal for their next return visit in February and March respectively. That way I had something fun to look forward to instead of focusing on the goodbye that I had just said.

Food Tour of Ocala

One of the best parts of moving to Ocala has been all of the restaurants close to our new home.  I haven't been the only one to enjoy that fact.  Cameron and Doug have made the most of all of the new possibilities and this week was no different.  Some of the restaurants that we tried while Cameron was here were family favorites, such as McAlister's, Chicken Salad Chick and Hiatus.  Others were new like Miller's Ale House and Foody Bowl.  All were delicious and solidified our opinion about our newfound love of living in a town with a multitude of food choices.

Eating wasn't all that we did the past few days while it was just Cameron here.  We invited Phil over to play Catan. We also watched multiple games of football happy to see the Lions finish first in their conference.  We went to mass and visited Gainesville for an afternoon where Cameron finally got to see their famed alligator in person and eat his favorite "Relish" burger.  All in all, it was a fun way to end our holiday break with our family.  Both Doug and I were sad that it would all come to an end tomorrow.

Shaking Off the Rust

One thing that Cameron wanted to do before he left for was play golf.  He suggested it to Doug, and I was glad to hear that he was interested in playing as well. Doug hadn't played in over a year, and I wasn't sure if he was ready to shake off the rust and get back on the course.  It also gave Cameron a chance to get Bob's clubs out and put them to good use.  We made a reservation for them at SummerGlen for today, and they were both happy when they left the house this morning.

I was glad to see that they were both smiling when they returned this afternoon.  They were a little surprised that they were the only people on the course today, but it didn't change the fun that they had.  Cameron felt that he hit the ball well and was proud of the five pars that he scored.  The other four holes didn't go quite as well, but he was still able to break 50.  He seemed pleased with that and was very glad to spend time with his dad.  Doug felt the same way about their round, only he wasn't quite able to break fifty.  Instead, of talking about his score, he was proud of the four putts that he made all over ten feet with one closer to twenty-five.  The scores and putts didn't matter to me.  I just enjoyed hearing their golf stories and was happy that all went well.  

Shopping & The Batman

The past two days with Cameron have been a lot of fun. We have spent a lot of time shopping.  Yesterday, we traveled to Silver Springs to check out Broke N Records.  Cameron had gotten several vinyls for Christmas but still had a few that he was looking to add to his collection.  I was happy to tag along as I have always enjoyed searching through the bins at this shop since all of their albums are vintage.  We spent quite a bit of time browsing and both went home with several that we were looking to purchase including and a few that we were surprised to find.  Doug appreciated Bob Dylan's greatest hits from 1967 and Johnny Cash's "I Walk the Line."  Cameron found a Smoky Robinson album that he had been wanting to buy but could never find and one of Stevie Wonder's first albums.  Needless to say, he was thrilled.

After the record store, we headed to The Peacock Cottage.  I didn't need anything in particular but always love looking at all of their unique plants and planters.  Cameron had as much fun as I did sorting through everything and soon, we were heading home with a Sansevieria Cylindrica Braid. It looked fantastic on my plant stand.

While we were out shopping, we also stopped at Belk's, Kohl's and HomeGoods.  Cameron used my Kohls cash to buy some new socks, and I found a set of Christmas sheets with palm trees on them for next year.  It was a lot of fun and I was very glad that we went.

Cameron and I had just enough time after our shopping trips to catch the new movie, The Batman.  Cameron, Cal and Brett had already seen it and thought that I would like it as well.  The movie reminded me a lot of the series Gotham that we watched before Covid, so of course, I loved it.  There is already a series out following the movie's success called The Penguin.  I am looking forward to watching it as well and was extremely thankful for a few relaxing, but fun days in Ocala.