"You're Not Sadness"

"Mom, you're not Sadness.  How did the Inside Out quiz name you as her?  Let me take it.  I had better be Disgust or this  . . .  oh, wait, now I see why you are Sadness.  The last question asks what would happen if someone read your biography, Mom.  You had to put cry, didn't you?  Now it makes sense."  

These words were spoken by Meg last night as she answered the Inside Out quiz to find out what character she was.  To her shock she was Joy.  It made sense to me as Meg is one of the most confident people I have ever met and is always laughing.  I could see, however, why she would rather be Disgust.  That character makes the movie even more enjoyable.

Meg talked a lot about the quiz today.  She still struggled with the fact that I was Sadness.  I don't, however.  My childhood was sad.  How could you lose a beloved brother and call you're childhood happy.  That would be a discredit to his memory.  It doesn't mean that there were never happy moments in my childhood or that we never laughed in the Musser home after Bunk died.  It's just that after August of 1977 there was always something missing.  There was always a piece of me that would never be repaired.  

I know that now and I knew that then.  From the moment I woke up that horrible morning I knew life would never be the same.  There was nothing that anyone could say or do, my childhood memories would always be a little tainted - the before Bunk and after Bunk times - and let's be honest my childhood memories with Bunk were a lot more fun.  The trip to Cincinnati, the pool in the backyard, the horseshoe games, the snow forts, listening outside his door when Little Rod was there, teasing him about girlfriends, hanging out at Granny and Paw Paws. . . those were eight great years of being a little sister.  

It changed one day and for many years I prayed that I would wake up and my life would be back to "normal."  As time went by, however, I came to understand that there was a new normal and a lot of that was clouded with sadness.  I didn't talk to very many people about Bunk.  We moved away and no one really knew him like I did.  My grandparents were the exception, however, and I loved listening to stories that they told about him, me and their memories.  

I also poured out my feelings to God.  Although we hadn't found a new church in Syracuse, it didn't stop me from believing or turning to him when I felt my lowest.  In high school I prayed the same prayer every night.  I asked God to find a solution and help me out of the sadness that clouded my thoughts.  Although I told him I would listen for his voice and tried to remain faithful, honestly, there were times that I doubted that even he could help me.  

Life changed for me in my early twenties.  I was at college and had a fun group of friends.  There were still moments of sadness, but it was getting better.  I thought if I just kept having fun then life would be great.  The kind of fun I was having, though, wasn't what God was calling me to do.  I knew that, but decided I just wouldn't listen for awhile.  Then one day I heard myself say, "I know exactly what type of guy I am looking for. I would love to meet someone just like Doug."  That is when the voice inside my head said why are you looking he's right there.  

I still can't believe that Doug and I have been together as long as we have (almost 25 years.)  I had so many trust issues to work through as I didn't believe that someone that you loved with all of your heart would stay.  Experience had taught me young to be wary.  Life can change on a dime and when it does it really hurts.  It's a pain no one wants to relive.  With Doug, however, I have learned that it is ok to love again.  

Through the birth of the Heinisch children I have also learned that the sadness does lessen.  When I see one of them give me a look that Bunk would have or walk the way he did or ask me questions about my relationship with him, I realize that Bunk may not be with us, but he is still ever present in my life.  He is a part of my story, my journey in life.  I am proud to say that my children do not recognize me as sadness, but realize why someone who only read my childhood memories would.  Today I am the wife who plans trips to Yellowstone and the mom that sings the wrong words to every pop song on the radio.  I love being that person and wouldn't change it for anything.  

Superman - Super Dad

Brett told me many years ago that he always thought of his Dad as Superman.  I have always agreed with him.  Doug may not be out saving the world, but he is the rock that the Heinisch family was built upon and has been there for all of us whenever and wherever we have needed him.  He doesn't just provide for our family, but is a important member of our everyday life.  From coaching to helping around the house to spending time with us Doug is always there.

Yesterday was a typical Sunday for our "Superman."  He was up early to make sure Cam and Meg were ready to serve at mass.  He filled in as lecter when Cal wasn't feeling well and ushered in his normal spot as well.  He came home, mowed the yard, stained the glider and fixed the screen door all in time to go with me to take Meg and Aaron to a movie in Goshen, so we could spend a quiet dinner together.

I appreciate Doug's strength and his work ethic and am very glad that he has passed it one to his children.  Today, however, was one for the books.  Doug called after lunch to say he was driving to Dr. Mulry's.  He had had strong pains in his side and just wasn't feeling right.  His body ached and he thought he should have it checked out.  I was shocked when he called as Doug only visits the doctor once a year for a check up, so I knew it must be something pretty painful to send him there.  Doug said that the pain had lessened as he was driving, but at first he wasn't even sure he could make it to Syracuse from Bristol.

He made it to the doctor, however, and once he described his symptoms they decided to take a urine sample.  Doug and I were both worried that it was appendicitis, but instead we were both shocked to learn that Doug passed a kidney stone on the drive home.  They were able to confirm it, scheduled an appointment for him in two weeks and sent him on his way.  Of course since it wasn't 2 o'clock yet, Doug decided to head on back to work.  He had a couple of items to finish and taking it easy the rest of the day never occurred to him.

For those of us who have passed a kidney stone this is incredible.  For those who haven't, be thankful you never have.  I realize that Doug isn't really Superman, but he definitely is Super Dad to the Heinisch family.

A Rough Week

Brett has been passionate about many things in his life, but none as much as his love of his country and the Catholic church.  Thus, this week has been a rough one for him.  It is not just the changes in society that have made him feel overwhelmed.  He is also struggling with the fact that he really loves his internship and isn't ready to give that up.  He doesn't know where life is leading him and isn't sure where to look.  

Brett is not alone in that struggle.  Most of us spend our early twenties searching for our own identity, finding out that we cannot always change the world and wondering what path we are on.  I have given Brett some words of encouragement and suggestions for what to do when he is feeling down as have several of his friends.  Ultimately, however, it is just going to take time and patience.  Time to learn and grow and the patience to find a path.  Brett will get there, I know, and hopefully he will come to see that the journey is what makes us who we are.  

The Working Man

Cal started working as a dishwasher about a month ago and it still amazes me that he likes it as well as he does.  Today he was thrilled to announce that he got a raise and now makes $9 an hour.  He also told us that his boss said that he has the best attitude of any dishwasher he has ever had.  He has shared numerous stories about his co-workers and the happenings in the kitchen.  I believe his favorite moment so far was when Just a Friend came on and the entire kitchen staff joined him in singing along.

We are thrilled that Cal has enjoyed his newfound position.  We didn't push him to get a job as we knew he would be busy with summer school, golf and tennis.  We are so glad that he decided to do this however.  He is learning a lot and having fun along the way.  He is keeping busy and hasn't had to ask us for money for quite awhile.  In face he has contributed greatly to his own gas fund and the good news is he hasn't run out of gas since May!

The Dunes

Meg left early this morning for a day at the Indiana Dunes with Preston.  He also invited Jared, Jacob and Cameron Gillum.  The hiked the dunes, flew kites, picnicked, used the mental detector, and swam.  Meg said that she had so much fun and was glad to be invited.  Preston's mom took some nice pictures of the group.  We were very happy that she went as well even though I was nervous because of the rip tides.  Meg enjoyed making fun of me for that, but she came home safe, so I didn't mind getting picked on.

Cam had a busy day as well.  He had tennis this afternoon in Warsaw.  They played matches and games against and with tennis players from Bremen's summer camp.  After tennis we came home to get ready for his slumber party.  I had promised him that he could have one if he made 500 points in AR this year.  He invited Chance, Braxton, Ryden and Evan.  I was worried at first as we had planned outside activities, but the weather did not cooperate.  Cam came up with a lot of great games for them to play downstairs and I bought prizes at Wal-Mart for them.  They ended up having an awesome time.  The cupcakes and Lil' Hugs were a big hit as well.  Jurassic Park was the movie of choice.  I could hear the dinosaurs roar all the way upstairs.

Shopping Spree

Meg asked to go shopping this summer before school starts.  We have a trip planned for the first week in August.  Today, however, we were able to go to Kohl's and Target before we went to 7 on 7.  Meg has lost weight since the last time she went shopping and grown a little taller.  Thus her size has changed.  She picked out some really cute shirts at Kohl's and found a new swimsuit at Target.

I always have fun taking Meg shopping.  She loves to go as much as I do.  She doesn't quite have my love of a good sale yet, but I know one day she probably will.  She did enjoy the fact that she got to use her debit card today so I could use my second coupon for $15 off.  It was a quick trip, but fun nevertheless.

A Day at the Lake

Today was Cam's reward day from 4th grade.  He had won this Day at the Lake in his classroom auction.  They were supposed to have it in early June, but the weather delayed it.  Today was cloudy, but no rain so they were able to have their celebration.  There were four boys and two girls.  Cade and Jared were two of the boys and Cam had a great time with them.

The group first went swimming with at the Syracuse Public Beach and then went to one of the teacher's family cottages for tubing and boating.  Cameron loved the tube they used.  He fell off once and learned to hold on for dear life.  He was sure he screamed the loudest, but said there was definitely a lot of screaming.  They stopped at the sandbar to swim before heading back to eat dinner.

Cam was very happy when I picked him up.  He had had a great time.  It was a nice way to end his time at Milford elementary.  I am glad that he won this reward.  He could finally see that sometimes "nice guys do finish first."

Cleaning and More Cleaning

Cam and I tackled the basement today while Meg cleaned out her room.  The basement was a big commitment, but not as big as in the past.  We definitely got rid of a lot of toys last summer so there just wasn't as much to pick up.  The incentive for Cam to help today was getting paid and having a slumber party on Friday night.  Meg's incentive was to go to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner tonight if she got her portion done.  Everything looked so much more organized by the end of the day.  Some dusting tomorrow and we should be complete.

Cal did not join in on the cleaning of the day.  He had a golf tournament and was gone until close to 3 with Dad.  Cal didn't qualify for the one spot to Florida that was open, but he and Dad had a lot of fun.  In all honesty I don't ask Cal to help much on the cleaning.  Right now he is working five days a week, taking two classes at summer school and playing tennis two days a week.  I would rather have him keep up on that then argue with him about cleaning or picking up.

I remember when I first went back to work.  After being home for sixteen years we realized that we would have to change some of the cleaning duties.  Doug offered to take over the bathrooms and I asked the Heinisch children to help pick up and put away their own laundry.  It was an adjustment for all of them because I was always home or my Mom was around to help.  I knew this would good for them and I should have asked more of them before I even started back to work.  Meg, Cam and Brett transitioned pretty well from having me home all of the time to working part time.  There were a lot of reminders at first, but those have lessened over the years.

Cal, however, has never really changed his thought process on cleaning and/or organizing.  It never has been a priority to him.  This was never more apparent than this morning when he got out of the shower, wrapped himself in a towel, ran downstairs and grabbed some clothes out of the laundry basket and headed up without taking the entire basket up.  I could have jumped him or reminded him or nagged him, but I didn't.  In fact I really haven't said much to him about his room or laundry or cleaning since I went back to teaching.  The one time I asked him to take his clothes up and put them away he said, "Why don't you quit your job and do it yourself?"  The part of Cal's personality that made him feel compelled to say that he got from me.  I realized at that moment I could tear into him and fight a good fight about it or I could back off, appreciate the fact that it was an adjustment to everyone that I was working, and keep on him about more important items such as academics.  Thus, I still put his laundry away today, pick up his bathroom and bring down his water bottles several times a week.

Meg asked me last week why I clean Cal's room and not hers and Cameron's.  I promised her that when Cal goes to college I will help keep her room picked up and organized if she wants and then when she leaves I will help Cameron.  It seems like a fair trade for now.  They are not as busy as they will be in their later years of high school and I can keep up with cleaning one of the Heinisch children's room, the household chores and work.  Soon enough Cal will have moved on just like Brett.  For now I will just appreciate having him here even if it means that I have to pick up a little bit more.

A New Courtyard

Meg made it to all three of her sports today, but is not going to be able to make it to basketball the rest of the week.  I am impressed that she has kept up with this rough schedule.  It has been tiring, but she's done well and so far no injuries.

Cal took today off from work to go to tennis, but it ended up being cancelled due to an impending storm that we never ended up getting.  He didn't mind and took the time to practice golf.  He has a tournament tomorrow to get ready for.

Cam had a golf tournament this morning.  He finished fourth and was ok with that.  He struggled with the greens.  Playing all of these different courses has been hard on his putting.

Doug and Meg went to soccer tonight and I went to my library board meeting.  For the first time in months I felt pretty good about where we are at and hoping that I can cut my commitment level down.  This month has been crazy, but the week of July 6th should finish several projects and then I believe I can be less involved.  The best part about this month's meeting was the presentation from Beyond Landscaping.  They have proposed a new courtyard for the front of the library that I was very impressed with.  Everyone seemed to really liked it and once we hear from the county council about our additional appropriations we should be able to decide if we can start this spring or need to wait for fall.  Either way it would really add a lot to our library landscaping.

Father's Day

Brett posted this on Facebook today  "He's often been the voice of reason in my life and keeps me focused on what I need to do. I hope one day when I'm a father I'm as good and driven as he is."  I couldn't agree more.  Doug is an excellent role model for all of his children.  He is hard working, dedicated, patient and involved.  I couldn't ask for a better husband and I know the Heinisch children could not have a better father.  

I love this picture above as it sums up life with Doug.  On Father's Day he spent the day doing what he enjoys most, spending it with us - from playing tennis, to cutting down tree limbs, to showing me how to paint that last coat on the picnic table - he was involved in all that we were doing and even made dinner for my parents, Cam, Meg and I.  After a game of badminton he and my Dad entertained us with stories of the jobs they had as teenagers.  It was great listening to them both and spending the evening with them.  The Heinisch children love both very much.  

Another Busy Saturday

Doug spent the morning at basketball with Meg in Churubusco.  Her team did well.  They won the first round of the tournament and lost by only three in the second game.  They have definitely improved since last fall.  For Meg this is probably her third favorite sport and the one she is the least involved in.  That seems alright with her and it is with us as well.  There are a lot of three sport athletes in high school, but very few can be the best at all three.  Tennis and soccer are her focus for right now and we would totally support that.  She spent the rest of the day relaxing and catching up on Dance Moms.

Cam went golfing with Mom.  They decided to play 18 as he wasn't happy with his score on the front.  It was hot when he returned, but dry so we decided to put a second coat of yellow on the picnic table.  Cam is earning money and this has been a good project for him to help me with.  In the evening he and my Dad went to see Jurassic World.  They both really liked it.  Cam said it was better the second time as he knew what to expect and actually watched all of the death scenes.

Alex and Jayce were here all afternoon and evening.  We all enjoy having them around and Cal has a lot of fun with them.  Their conversations are hilarious to listen to especially when they are giving each other a hard time about something or other.  They spent their time playing chess and basketball and then decided to eat dinner at the North Webster Pizza King since Cameron Adams was working.  

After a day of doing projects around the home Doug and I went shopping at Kohl's and Target.  He wanted to try a new place for dinner so we went to Goshen Brewing Company.  It was pretty good and definitely worth trying.  Afterward we had a bonfire with Meg and Cam.  What a wonderful way to spend a Saturday.  

Inside Out

Yesterday was a busy one for Meg and Cameron.  Cam had his second golf tournament.  This time it was at McCormick Creek.  They played off the reds.  I thought it was pretty long as the ground was still very wet.  It was also very slow.  I was impressed that we were able to keep Cam's group up with those in front of them and still interested as it took three hours to play nine and one of the boys shot an 82.

The length and slow play did not bother Cam.  He was confident and I was impressed with how consistent he was.  He also showed a lot of knowledge about the game and used it to his advantage.  He cannot hit the ball as far as a lot of the older boys, but he worked on his putting and only had one three putt and actually one putted three times, which was awesome.  He ended the day with a 53.  The last two holes were tough.  That score was good enough for second place, which he was thrilled with.

Meg had a fantastic night at 7 on 7 soccer last night.  She scored two goals, had one assist and looked awesome.  I really enjoyed watching her play.  Doug actually has several freshmen on his soccer team that will give the seniors a run for their money this year.  That should help out his squad and maybe they will be able to win a few more games.

Tonight we all took a break from sports and went to see the movie Inside Out.  It was a Disney Pixar movie about the emotions that control our lives.  We had high hopes that it would be good, but were nervous as Tomorrowland didn't live up to the hype.  This one did, however, and we all enjoyed it very much.  We spent quite a bit of time talking about our favorite moments from the movie as Meg, Preston and Cam enjoyed ice cream from The Chief afterward.

Indiana Elite

Cal was invited this spring to play in the first annual Indiana Elite golf tournament for high school boys.  It was an honor to be invited and he readily agreed to try it.  He and Dad left this morning for his two o'clock tee time.  They made it to Indy without any problems.  Dad even let Cal drive on I-65.  Once they figured out where the golf course was they decided to find lunch.  The only two close spots were McDonald's or a truck stop.  Cal wisely picked McDonald's.

Once they returned to the course Cal had his picture taken with his high school jersey and his new Indiana Elite jersey which was a really awesome color of purple.  He was also given a patch for his jacket, a plaque and a shoe bag.  They had time to practice before tee off and Cal started out very well just missing a putt for par on the first hole and then parring the second.

As they started to tee off on the third hole the skies opened up with a complete downpour.  They waited almost an hour before the director called it off for the day.  He felt that even if the rain did stop it would be too wet to continue.  Dad and Cal could either drop out or stay and try again in the morning.  With the way the forecast looked they weren't even sure they would get to play even if they stayed.  Thus, they went ahead and drove home.  They were a little disappointed that they didn't get to finish, but had a fun day of it anyway.  We are proud of Cal for being invited and happy that my Dad could be part of it.  

The Explorers Club

Doug and I were invited by the lawyers who represent his company to an evening at the South Bend Civic Theater.  This is the second year that we have been invited and we enjoyed it just as much.  Appetizers and drinks were served before the play.  Last year it was crowded, but this year we noticed that there weren't as many people present.  His lawyer explained that the play was in the small room of the theater, so they couldn't invite as many.  We were honored to be asked.  We enjoyed talking to his lawyer as she has a son that plays golf at Culver Military Academy and her daughter plays soccer, so we always have stories to share.

We had never heard of the play before, but were willing to try.  Last year's was "To Kill a Mockingbird" and they put on a wonderful version of it.  This year's was titled "The Explorer's Club."  We were told that it was a comedy and it is ok to laugh.  In the end we didn't even need that introduction to it.  It was a lot better than we ever thought it would be and did laugh many times.  The story revolved around an Explorer's Club in England somewhere in the early 1900's that only allowed male members.  At the start a new member wants to join as she found a new country, but the group is hesitant because she is a woman.  It had a lot of twists and turns and was thoroughly enjoyable.  I think Brett would have really enjoyed seeing it with us.

A New Job

Brett started his new job today.  He is working at Woodlands Restaurant through IU.  It just opened this Spring and has a variety of different foods to try.  Brett washed dishes tonight, learned to make a frappe, and made his first flat bread pizza.  He said it was actually a lot easier than he thought it would be and is excited that after July 1st he will earn $9 an hour.  He is hoping to be promoted to cashier eventually and keep working there through the school year.  For now he is just excited to finally have a job.  He looked for over a month before he was offered one.  Sounds like the perfect fit!

Summer Golf Tournaments Begin

Mom and Dad took Cam to South Bend Country Club for his first Elkhart County Junior Golf Tournament of the year.  He moved up an age group this year and will be competing against 11 year olds.  We like that as he won almost all of them last year and after awhile that actually becomes quite boring.  Competition makes it a lot more fun.

It took almost three hours to play, as one of the players in Cam's group was pretty bad.  Cam played very well and shot a 51.  That was good enough for third place.  He actually beat two of the 11 year olds and all of the ten year olds.  He and Dad are going to go out tomorrow and work on his putting.  They felt that was what needed the most help today.  He and Cal both have tournaments on Thursday.  I am taking Cam to his in Nappanee and Dad is going with Cal to Indianapolis for his.  Summer would not be summer at the Heinisch home if there were not golf tournaments to play in.

Back Home Again!

Cam and Doug started the day at Cascades golf course.  They were able to play nine before it got to be too hot.  Cam was happy with his score, so was Doug but unfortunately he threw his back out and had a hard time driving home.  Once they got back we went to eat at Noodle & Company.  It is a new favorite Heinisch lunch spot.  Cam likes the noodles, but more importantly the multiple flavor Coke dispenser.  He can mix all kinds of flavors with lemonade, Sprite and Root Beer.

After lunch we walked up to TIS and did some shopping before we left.  We had a great weekend with Brett.  We helped him put on his license plate, do a little cleaning and organize a couple of the items he will need for work.  On the way home Doug remarked how proud he is of Brett and all he has learned to do this summer on his own.  I feel the same way.  It is wonderful to see him have some success and gain a lot of life experience, even if one of those experiences was getting stuck in a four mile three hour backup on the interstate.

It's Not the Heat, It's the Humidity

Today was definitely the hottest it has been all year.  I am glad that we were able to help Brett circumnavigate his thermostat.  He hadn't really needed his air conditioning, but this weekend will beanother story.  Four of us were out the door at 8:30 this morning to walk to the farmer's market.  It was a long, hot walk, but Cam and I made it.  Vicky and Parce met us there.  There was a lot of different vegetables, fruits and flowers.  We also found some delicious baked goods which made for a wonderful breakfast.  Cam and I checked out the craft tents before we left.  He found a wooden wand that looked right out of Harry Potter.  We were sure it would help us apparate back to Brett's.  It didn't quite work, but we had fun trying.

It was a hot one to the apartment.  Meg was up waiting for us.  She had opted out of the morning trip, which might have been a good idea considering the heat and the busy week she had had with sports.  We drove out to Target and then took Cameron creek sliding at Cascades Park.  Meg decided to watch this time which worked out well as most of those who showed up to slide with Cam were younger than him.  After that we went to Oliver Winery for lunch.  Parce and Vicky met us there as well.  We had a great lunch and learned that Bocce ball should never be played on a hill near a pond.

Once lunch was over we all went to see Jurassic World.  Cam had finished the original book this week and saw the movie.  Meg wasn't sure she wanted to see it, but in the end we all really liked it.  From the movie we went bowling and then to Barnes and Noble.  We stopped by Parce's to see if they wanted to go to Buffalouie's but they decided not to.  The weather did cool off a little by then, but it was still hot and humid.  Once dinner was over we walked around campus and had ice cream from Hartzell's.  I couldn't believe I made it.  My legs were done by the time we got home.  It was a good tired, however, as we had a wonderful day.

Bloomington

We left for Bloomington after chess today.  Cameron was thrilled when Doug picked him up as he had won the tournament for the week.  He said he even tried to make things exciting by taking all of the last opponents playing pieces.  He said it wasn't the best strategy for the win, but it worked and he came home with the trophy.

We were at Brett's by 8 p.m.  He was waiting for us, so that we could all go out to dinner.  Meg, Cam and Brett wanted to go to Mother Bear's so that was our first stop.  We saw Vicky and Parce there as well.  The food was excellent, but we all decided to leave room for bread sticks.  It took awhile to get set up for the night as we had to blow up mattresses and make beds.  We were all finally able to settle in close to 11 p.m.

It is great that we can stay at Brett's.  He has a wonderful location, room for all of us and doesn't mind the company.  His apartment was extremely clean and almost everything was put away.  We are very impressed with how much he has done on his own this summer.  He has gained a lot of experience and seems very happy.

Tennis

Seven on Seven was cancelled tonight due to a storm in Elkhart.  We had just arrived at NIBCO field when the downpour occurred.  At first they asked everyone to wait it out, but after ten minutes and close watch of the radar they decided to reschedule for July.  Meg and I were disappointed until we realized that she could make it to the "ladders" at the high school for tennis.  The night was a success for her as she lost the first round in a close one 6-4 then won a tie breaker in the second 7-5.  She was pleased as was her coach.

Cal went to tennis as well.  I don't know if he liked it as well.  I was glad he went as they called him to work.  He went from 5-7 and then left for practice.  He played a couple of matches as well.  Some of his friends from two years ago were there.  He enjoyed seeing them.  I am not sure about his feelings on tennis, however.  I tried to ask him today, but I don't know if he is sure what he wants to do.  Guess time will tell.

Job Search is Over

Cal and Brett's summer job search is over and has landed them both in the kitchen.  Cal is a dishwasher this summer and Brett will be working at a new multi restaurant style cafeteria at IU.  Both seemed please with their jobs.  We didn't ask Cal to get one, but he decided that was what he wanted to do.  Brett is happy to finally be done looking.  He had put in at least fifty applications and had had several interviews, but nothing worked out until today.  Once we bring him his Social Security card over the weekend he can fill out the paperwork and start next week.  Cal plans to work all weekend and has already learned a lot about the inter workings of a restaurant - kitchen staff vs. waitstaff - onion rings are hot when you drop them in the fryer - there is a lot of turnover - to name a few.  We'll see how it goes for each of them.  My Dad always says that life is just one story after another - their summer jobs will be a good story one day.

Bright Time Camp

Cam started Bright Time Camp at Bethany Christian yesterday.  He has tennis from 8:30 to 9:30, center stage from 9:30 to 10:30 and then chess from 3 to 4.  Cameron told me yesterday that he absolutely loves it and tennis is his favorite so far.  The tennis instructor is also the middle school coach and knows Cameron's name from Cal playing tennis.  He told Cam that he lets some of the 5th graders practice with the middle school team.  Cam was excited about that.  I am thrilled with how much he likes Bethany Christian and already feels comfortable there.  He was high fiving the players when I dropped him off and has met several friends as well.

Life of an Athlete

Meg is quickly learning what it is like to be a high school athlete in the summer.  She starts her day at basketball at 7:30 a.m., moves to tennis from 10 to noon and then ends at soccer playing from 6:30 to 8:00.  Luckily, that is only on Mondays and Wednesdays.  The rest of the week she has just one or two sports a day.  So far she really likes being a three sport athlete, but wishes that basketball started a little later or was in the afternoon.  Fridays are her favorite as her day doesn't start until tennis.

I like that she is trying three sports.  This way she will meet a lot of girls and will feel extremely comfortable going into high school.  She has said several times that she will be in the best shape of her life by the end of the summer.  That is true.  So far I have also enjoyed getting up to take her as it gets our days started early. In addition it really helps that Cal can drive this summer so I only have to worry about getting two of the Heinisch children to their activities.  July will slow down with sports for Meg as basketball will be over.  Until then Meg will keep up the best that she can.

Open House Season

Last weekend started the open house season for us.  This year we were invited to eight with most of them happening today.  My favorite part of the open houses are the pictures.  Most of these students are friends of the Heinisch children and we have watched them grow up.  Some we are closer to than others, but all hold fond memories in our lives.  Meg was able to pick out the drawing Deea was working on at Evan and Cameron's chess tournament at Purdue last year.  Brett was front and center in Nate Prescott's t-ball team photo of long ago.

Cal was by far in the most pictures of all of the open houses we went to this year.  That doesn't surprise me as he has spent a lot of time with Alex, Gage and Korey these past few years and has played golf with Tristen since the 3rd grade.  Graduation does not make me sad, however.  I always think of it as a  new beginning.  As I left the last open house tonight I realized that life will change for Cal next year.  He has made some close friends in this year's senior class.  He is ready to be a senior himself, however, and I know he will make the most of it.

Friendship

I know I have written many times about Cal and the bond he has with his friends, but it just never ceases to amaze me how close they really are.  They were with him pretty much all day yesterday from the start of his sectional round through the scary movie of the evening helping him through one of the biggest disappointments of his golfing career.  He was still frustrated today, but once Alex and Jayce came over he was able to have some fun - croquet, fishing and playing along on a Chase Myers vs. Jayce Boatwright golf showdown at Raccoon Run.

By the end of the evening he was able to tell us exactly how he felt and his thoughts of yesterday.  We don't blame him for feeling disappointed.  It was tough to except.  We are impressed, however, with how well he has handled it and how much his friends have rallied behind him.  They are one awesome group.  I know the dynamics will change next year with Alex going to college, but for now it is just enjoyable to witness their camaraderie and hear their laughter.

A Bitter Pill

Today was the boys high school golf sectional.  Cal teed off at 8:50 and Dad was there to see him start.  Cal admitted to being very nervous and it showed as he bogeyed the first three holes.  He said that it actually helped him as he calmed down and realized that he would be ok.  He knew he hadn't had a double and by then Jayce, Cameron, Kyle, Gage and Elizabeth joined his gallery.  He relaxed and had nine straight fours after that.

Hole thirteen looked like trouble for him, but an "easy" chip in for par saved his score.  By the time Cam, my Mom, Meg and I showed up, Cal was six over and in a great mood.  Meg decided to wait out the five holes at the Fitzgeralds, but the rest of us hung around the putting green and scoreboard keeping track of team and individual scores.  Columbia City was the leader when we arrived at 303 with Plymouth a close second at 305.  The next best was Warsaw's 315.  Wawasee made the turn at 156 which put them at a great position to finish in the top three and move on to regionals next week.

Everyone in the Wawasee camp was excited as Mason finished with an 80.  That was a great score for the fourth player and we all knew Cal was playing well also.  I was never really worried about Warsaw.  I was sure that we would beat 315 without a problem as we won the Joe Harris shoot out with a 308.  Cal bogeyed four holes on the back, but made a knee-knocker putt on 18 to finish at 78.  All was looking great.  The only real concern was Culver Military Academy.  They knocked us out last year and I was very worried about the same scenario.  Tristen finished with a 77.  All we needed was Jeffrey to shoot a 79.  It looked like no problem as he was six over after 15 holes.  That was when the news came crashing in.  Jeffrey had triple bogeyed sixteen and double bogeyed 17.  Even with a birdie on the last hole Wawasee would still finish in the dreaded fourth place by the fifth man score.

I couldn't believe it.  Two years in a row finishing fourth - one place out of a regional birth.  There was still hope, however, as Cal was tied for third low for those qualifying as individuals.  There was only one team left that could have someone beat him out, so Cal and the guy he tied from Warsaw started practice putting.  As he and his friends got ready for the playoff I delivered the fateful news.  Someone from Northfield came in with a 71 putting Cal at fourth - one shot out of an individual regional spot.  It was heartbreaking to say the least.  Cal had had so much support from his friends and family.  He had practiced a lot over the past week or more, but in the end it just wasn't meant to be.  Cal handled it very well.  He knew he had played the best that he could and had put forth his best effort.  That made it a little easier to swallow, but a bitter pill none the less.

So Many Words, So Much Mispoken

I noticed since I went back to teaching full time (80% time) I am constantly misspeaking.  I don't know why and most of the time I do not even catch it.  I call students by the wrong name continually.  Most of them take it in stride unless I call them the name of someone they do not like.  I've even heard them say to each other - "No big deal - Mrs. Heinisch does that to everyone - just go with it."

I know the reason that I am doing this is because I am tired and busy between school and keeping up with the Heinisch family.  My brain is working faster than my mouth and for the most part it is "no big deal."  Doug and the Heinisch children have noticed it at home as well.  They either make fun of me or correct me depending on the situation.  It hasn't been a problem until yesterday.  Cam and Meg had been all over Kohl's  and Target looking for a new comforter set with me.  We had noticed that a few came with dust ruffles, others with sheets and some with just pillow shams.  I finally found one that I like.  As Cameron went to pick the set up for me I said, "Check to make sure we don't need to buy our own shits."  Cam gave me this look and it dawned on my what I said.  After I corrected myself with, "Sheets, I mean sheets!"  Cam replied, "I was pretty sure we didn't need to buy the other!"  Still laughing about it.  Hopefully, that doesn't happen again!!!!

Not arrested, didn't join the army, doesn't own a motorcycle!

Meg asked me about our parenting philosophy the other day while we were driving to Warsaw.  She noticed that for the most part we do not ground the Heinisch children or scream and yell at them.  In general we try to include them in discussions on activities that affect them.  We like them to make a lot of their own decisions providing them support when they need it.  Doug calls it "failing in a safe environment."   Thus, in the Heinisch home they are free to be, but never free from the consequences of their choices.

This doesn't mean that we do not have high expectations for them.  They all know that academics come first.  At the beginning of each trimester or semester we talk with them about a realistic GPA with the classes they have.  We also expect a high work ethic and for them to treat each other with respect.  We try very hard not to micromanage all that they do.  We realize that they will learn more from their own mistakes than being told what to do constantly.  We also encourage them strongly to try new things and adventure past the norm.  

I know there are others who do not agree with us.  There are some that believe that children have to be told what to do.  I receive a lot of unsolicited parent advice from "well-meaning" adults who are sure we must need help.  As I watch the Heinisch children succeed and fail all the time knowing they are loved, I become more and more comfortable with our type of parenting.  I believe it is our job to help them become who they want to be never who I insist they should be.  So, if you hear me say to Meg, "Not arrested, didn't join the army, and doesn't own a motorcycle," know that she or one of her brothers did something that others may not completely approve of or understand.  It was one more lesson in life that they needed to learn on their own.  

Btw - just to clarify - nothing wrong with joining the army or buying a motorcycle, just means that I don't have to worry as much!

A Great Summer Visit

My parents left Sunday afternoon for Bloomington to visit Brett for a couple of days.  They were anxious to see his apartment and how he has been living the last few weeks.  They were able to try a few restaurants, do a little shopping and even made the trek to Shelbyville to see the office that Brett interns in.  I know that they had a really good time from the posts on Facebook.  The air mattress didn't quite work out, but they couldn't complain about the price of a room.

They headed back this afternoon once Brett finished with his interview at Hartzell's and trying their ice cream.  Brett's definitely been looking hard for a job, but so far hasn't come up with one.  It sounds like most businesses do not need summer help, but instead are looking to start hiring for the fall once July starts.  Glad that his internship, friends, Parce and RUF are keeping him busy this summer.  This was always our favorite time of the year in Bloomington.  It's nice to have Brett experience that as well.  We plan to catch up with him in a couple of weeks also.  Hope he doesn't mind company!!

This is More Comfortable Than it Looks

Yesterday afternoon Doug, Cam and I went mattress shopping.  We threw ours away last week and have been using the full size one from the basement.  Ours was older than Cameron and was so warped and misshapen that it was extremely hard to sleep in it anymore.  Cam had a lot more fun shopping than he ever dreamed he would.  The place that we stopped at had adjustable queen size beds where both the feet and head could be raised along with a massage feature.  As Doug and I were checking out all of the different features, firmness and textures of the different mattresses Cam stuck to the adjustable ones.  At one point I looked over and he said, "This is surprisingly more comfortable than it looks."  I thought he looked like a sandwich, but he enjoyed it.

After shopping yesterday and finding out the prices of various mattresses Doug and I decided to replace Meg's mattress instead.  She said that it was too firm for her and it is only a year old.  So today she, Cam and I went to another mattress store.  She found the perfect one for her and once they told us they could deliver it today we rushed home to clean rooms and get ready for the switch.  I was impressed that the three of us could get the box spring off of my bed and into the dumpster before Stuckman's came.  Luckily, Cal was home for a little bit, so he got the mattress downstairs for us.  The dust under my bed was incredible.  I also sat in amazement of all of the boxes I had kept and stored under there.  Meg didn't have anything to get out from under her bed, but her room needed picked up.  We did it all with about forty-five minutes to spare before they arrived.  Can't wait to sleep in a new bed tonight and knowing that it was $4000 cheaper than what we looked at yesterday.