Volunteering Isn't All That It's Cracked Up To Be

I have volunteered in the any community that I have lived in since Doug and I first got married.  It didn't matter if I was working or how many children that we had, I always made sure that I volunteered because I thought it was the right thing to do.  Some years it was as little as ironing linens for the church and others it was a full-time commitment like filling in for the head librarian when he resigned his position unexpectedly.  As my children got older, most of my volunteering was spent at the schools that they attended.  It was a lot, but I enjoyed spending time with my children and getting to know their friends and teachers better. 

When we moved to Ocala last fall, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do next.  Doug and I talked about me working, volunteering or joining a local organization. He did not care and told me not to rush into anything.  After a year of trying out different events, I finally decided to forgo working for now and volunteer once again.  Unfortunately, I haven't found it as fulfilling as I did in the past.  Yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about why that is.  I finally came up with a couple of reasons to my question.  

First, I have spent a lifetime volunteering and believe that I have always done a great job at my role.  I had a reputation of being competent and a hard worker.  No one knows me here, so I am not treated with the same amount of respect.  I do not like being dictated to or micromanaged.  I also do not have any children here, so my focus is different.  I am just wanting to socialize a couple of times a month and get to know other members of any group that I join.  I am not looking to find more ways to volunteer or to meet new best friends.  Lastly, I want a laid-back schedule now that Doug has changed jobs.  I never want to feel the intensity that we lived through the past two years.  I want my time to revolve around my family and to fill in with other activities on the side, not to make volunteering my main focus.  

Thus, I am stuck with a dilemma.  Do I quit the group that I joined or just beg off my volunteer commitment?  If I do quit, then what do I try next?  Do I stick it out and soft quit like Meg had explained to me a while ago?  Or do I try and make the group better by working intensely to fix what I perceive as a problem?  It will take some time for me to figure out my next move and thankfully, I don't have to make a decision today.

Moustaches

At about nineteen years of age, each one of my sons decided to try and grow a moustache.  I was not surprised as I knew from hanging out with guys in college that growing a moustache, beard or goatee was a rite of passage at that age.  I also knew that my boys had grown up around my dad and that he had had facial hair for as long as they could all remember.  None of them ever said it to me, but I always figured that maybe they tried to grow one because Grandpa had one.  No matter why they decided, I didn't say much about it until they asked me my opinion.  

Brett tried growing a moustache the earliest.  He was a freshman and out of all of our sons I really thought that he had the best chance of growing facial hair.  It wasn't because of my dad, however, it was because Brett looked a lot like Doug's Uncle Maury who had a moustache and beard for as long as Doug and I had been married.  Unfortunately, Brett's facial hair grew a lot more like Doug's.  I remembered back to when Doug lost a bet after his freshmen year and couldn't shave for three weeks.  Except for the "neck beard" that he grew, nothing else really developed and he was thankful to be able to shave it off as soon as the time period was over.  At 18 Brett also had a nice "neck beard" going and gave up on the idea of a moustache after a month.

Cal tried growing a moustache during his senior year.  He waited until interviews were over in October, thinking that "No-Shave November" would be the best time to try.  Not much happened, so he started shaving again by Christmas.  He tried one more time in the fall of 2021.  The moustache was a little bit thicker and darker, but not enough to make him continue growing it.  

2019

2021

Thus, when Cameron called to tell me that he was going to grow a moustache, I wasn't surprised at all.  I knew that it was about the right time in his life to give it a try.  I also had no hope that it would look any different than either Doug's, Brett's or Cal's.  Cameron was more hopeful because he had "a lot of Musser in him."  Before we went to see him in September, he sent me pictures and said that he had gotten a lot of positive feedback on it.  When he asked my opinion, I told him the truth.  "I'm just not really that excited about moustaches on anyone.  I thought the only people who looked better with a moustache were my dad and Tom Selleck.  If it was up to me, I would have him shave it."  He just laughed and called me a "hater."  

I think that my mom believes that I really hate Cameron's moustache, but I don't.  Even if it grows in thicker and darker, I know that it is more than likely a phase. It's just fun to give him a hard time about it.  I also know that no matter what, he will have to shave it before he has any job interviews.  Fortunately, that won't be this semester.  I also realize that moustaches, painting nails and even earrings aren't forever.  Thankfully, none of the boys have talked about getting tattoos yet.  I would be very concerned about as they would be permanent.  

What Did You Do Today?

Doug asked me tonight what I did today.  At first, I said not too much.  Then I started to list off everything that I had done during his time at work.  I spent an hour working on CCW items.  I talked to Cameron about his upcoming interview.  I helped Meg with an issue that she was having.  I did four loads of laundry and put everything away.  I wrote my blog.  I washed Doug's bedding.  I filled out a missing mail report for the package that I sent Cal two weeks ago that was never delivered.  I ran to the gastroenterologist to update Doug's insurance information for his upcoming colonoscopy.  I sprayed the weeds along the side of the house.  I took care of the grass that was growing into the road by the mailbox.  I checked in with Brett about the weekend of October 26th and I watered the plants. 

Once I said it out loud, it made sense why I was tired this evening.  It didn't seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but it was a lot to accomplish.  I started thinking about how families with two full time working parents handled the stress of working and running a household.  It was overwhelming when Doug and I tried it and even though all of our children have "grown and flown" I could still find enough to do every day to keep myself busy.  I also appreciated that by still being at home that I could offer help when any of my children or their significant others needed it.  I know that this isn't the life for everyone, but it has been a good one for our family.

A Poignant Homily

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." Matthew 6:24

"For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." 1 Timothy 6:10

Doug and I went to mass on Saturday night and found the homily given by the deacon to be extremely relevant.  He talked of greed, misery and idolizing one's money over everything else including God.  We both walked away from the sermon touched, but with different thoughts.  I felt that the deacon was affirming our decision to help our children start their lives by paying for their college educations.  The stress of Doug's job and the decommitment of his family to help with that expense had really taken a toll on us these past few years and my mind had started to drift away from what was important and focused instead on wealth and hoarding money for "someday."  I had even started to wonder if we should have had them be partially financially responsible for their expenses as well.  I was afraid that we had robbed from our retirement to support them.  We hadn't and I was glad that the deacon reminded us today that Jesus asked us to forgo riches and to let go of earthly idolatry.  He was right and I knew that.  Doug and I were able to help our children start their lives and still live comfortably ourselves.  The most important part of raising them wasn't money, but to give them richness in faith.  This summer, I realized that we had done exactly that, and we had reaped the benefits of following the Jesus' teachings.  

Doug completely agreed with my thoughts, but he had never doubted that we had made the right decision all along.  His thoughts were deeper than mine as he contemplated his family's legacy, the promises that had been made to him years ago and what that meant for our future.  He brought up legitimate concerns, but did not have a solution for any of them.  The nice reminder for him Saturday was that we had learned long ago to only rely on each other.  We had weathered many storms together through God's help and the hardships of the past two years were slowly becoming a memory.

I appreciated Doug's opinion today.  He doesn't talk as much as I do, so it was nice to hear that we were on the same page with our own decisions.  When he went to bed tonight, I thought a lot about our upbringings.  They were so different from each other. My grandparents lived on a fixed income and worked commodities to bring home government peanut butter and cheese.  They had nothing to leave me but a case of Halloween Miller Lite beer and some knickknacks that I absolutely cherished.  His grandparents owned farmland that was now worth millions of dollars that they wanted their grandsons to inherit.  I hope that one day the boys are allowed to be owners of something that was so precious to their family.  The nice part is that no matter what happens, Doug and I both loved our respective grandparents dearly and had wonderful memories of them.  That's enough for me.

Oktoberfest

Last year we went to Oktoberfest at the World Equestrian Center and really enjoyed it. Thus, when they were hosting the same event this year, I put it on our calendar. They offered two dates for the festival, but Doug and I were busy last weekend, so we bought tickets for today.  Phil joined us for the event, and we all had a fantastic time.

This year we decided to arrive at Oktoberfest right when it opened at 11 a.m.  Last year, we waited until noon, and it was already standing room only when we arrived. I knew that I couldn’t stay very long if I wasn’t able to sit for part of the event. Thankfully, it wasn’t quite as crowded this year and there were more tables available. The first thing on our agenda was to try all of the authentic German foods. We sampled knockwurst, bratwurst, beef and cabbage, German pretzels, apple strudel, ginger snap cookies, and German chocolate cake. Everything was delicious, but the bratwurst and German chocolate cake were my favorites. I did not sample any beer, but the guys tried several of the Oktoberfest offerings. Doug even scored a German Oktoberfest hat when a Sam Adams representative walked by handing them out to those of us who arrived early.

Besides beer and food, we also watched juggling acrobats and a stein holding contest. There was cornhole, a giant jumbo game and connect four as well.   As much as I loved all of the food and activities, the best part of the day was the band. I liked the one a lot last year, but this year's was even better. It was a family band called the Swinging Bavarians. They yodeled, played polka music, and did traditional German Oktoberfest chants and songs. They showcased their children dancing and even taught the crowd a few dances as well. I loved listening to "It’s a Small World" on the cowbell and I know that Doug really appreciated the Chicken Dance. We never made it to the dance floor, but we sure enjoyed watching everything.

After 3+ hours of fun, we decided to call it an afternoon. Doug and Phil both went home and crashed for a while. I couldn’t blame them as there had been a ton of food mixed in with some heavy beers. After Doug took a short nap, he and I went to mass and spent the rest of the evening home watching football. I told him over and over how much fun I had had today. That has been the best part about moving, all of the different activities that we have been able to enjoy and now that he doesn’t have to work so much, we can actually attend many more of them.

                                              

Scary Movie Season Revisted

Every year October becomes scary movie season for our family. When we were still living in Syracuse, Camerron and I would pick out our favorite horror movies to watch to commemorate the holiday. We watched Scream together, Halloween, and many more. Doug wasn’t as big of a fan of scary movie season, but he would join us from time to time.

If Cal was home, he would suggest some of his favorites or a new thriller that he had heard was good. Cal’s favorite horror movie was Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He and I rewatched it one year while he was still living at home, and I realized that it was a little bit too much for me. After he moved out, he suggested the movie "The Strangers" for Cameron and I to watch. Cal did warn me that it was one of the scariest movies that he had ever seen. We decided to brave it and watched it one afternoon while Doug was traveling home from Florida. I had never been so scared.

I have started to realize the last couple of years that I just can’t handle scary movies season anymore. The heart pounding thrillers that I used to love were just too much for me now. Thus, last year I switched over from scary movie season to Halloween movie season instead. I focused more on Brett and Meg's favorites that I found on Disney+ instead of the horror classis.  Shows like "It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" were more my speed. This year, I even bought the pumpkin shaped soundtrack to it on vinyl that Meg had recommended. Doug and I both really enjoyed listening to that. 

Last week on the Rewatchables podcast, the movie "The Blair Witch Project" was featured.  The film came out in 1995 and had become one of Doug and my favorite scary movies. When we first saw it in theaters, we believed all the hype about the Blair Witch.  As I listened to Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan talk about the film, the memories of the first time I saw it 25 years ago came back.  Even though we found out later that it was a made-up story, we still had fun showing it to all of the boys. They also enjoyed the unique movie style.  Doug listened to the same Rewatchable podcast on his drive home from work today and loved the walk down memory lane as well.  We talked about watching it again, but I knew I couldn’t. We decided instead to watch the Curse of the Blair Witch. It was a faux documentary that was made after the original movie was released.  It described the Blair Witch's legend and the film students who had gone "missing" while studying the myth. We watched it outside on the tiki bar tonight and even though we knew that it was not a true story, we both still found it scary. 

After tonight, I realized that scary movie season is over for both of us. That’s ok with me.  The Legend of Sleepy Hollow had always been my favorite Halloween story and fortunately, I could still handle the animated Disney classic.

The Clean Up

Doug and I spent Tuesday getting ready for the hurricane. We brought in all the outside furniture, moved all the plants to the side of the fence, filled the bathtub with water and had food and water ready in case we lost power. For the most part yesterday, we really just dealt with rain. It started after midnight and continued throughout the rest of the day.  We watched the news off and on and knew that the storm had moved a little bit south of us. I hoped that meant that we have to deal with the storm at all.

Unfortunately, just as the weather forecaster said that hurricane Milton had made landfall in Tampa, a gust of wind picked up here and knocked over our tiki bar. I couldn’t believe it. We had it under the patio and it had never moved in any other storm. Unfortunately, we could tell that the countertop shattered when it blew over. Doug and I ran outside in the rain, picked it up, took everything inside that was stored in it, and put the fireplace in front of it so that it was wedged against the wall. Even the 80-pound fireplace didn’t make a difference, as the tiki bar blew over one more time in the evening. We to move it to the fence and lay it on his side after that.

I was pretty bummed last night when I thought about the countertop to the tiki bar being broken. It didn’t help that we lost power for six hours in the middle of the night, making it hard to sleep in general. This morning, I got up and started researching what we could do to fix it. I knew that it was going to be a really big project, but we loved the tiki bar and used it quite often. Doug went outside to access the damage and said that besides the tiki bar the only other issues we had were a broken wind chime and a few slats that had blown off the fence. I didn’t need the wind chime anymore and he was able to fix the slats, so it was really just the tiki bar. I knew that I was silly being sad about it as a lot of other people had lost their homes in the storm.

Our power had been restored at 6:30 in the morning, but the Internet was still out when we were outside cleaning up. We could see the Cox Cable trucks working on it in our side yard.  Doug suggested that we take some time to run over to Lowe’s and see what they would have to fix the tiki bar. He carefully measured the area that needed replaced.  He thought that maybe we could have a piece of plywood cut and use that until we came up with a more permanent solution. I didn't have a lot of hope but agreed to ride along.

Doug and I walked into the store, thankful that it was open. It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be, but there were a lot of people buying supplies to fix different items. Doug suggested that we walk to the flooring area first.  As soon as we reached the flooring aisle, I noticed that they had large piece of tiles that looked a lot like the size of our countertop. We ran over to it, looked up the measurements and realized that we had just found the perfect solution. They even had the exact same color as the one that had been destroyed. Neither one of us could believe it. It was only $22 and soon we were on our way home with a brand new countertop.

I couldn’t stop talking all day about how fortunate we were. I had envisioned this huge project that was really never going to look the same. Instead, no one would ever know that my favorite piece of outdoor furniture had been damaged. As an added bonus while Doug was out picking up, he found the pickle ball that had been stuck in the arborvitae bushes since last Christmas. Nick had hit it high up in the bushes on an errant return up and no matter where we looked, we could not find the pickle ball. After each and every storm, I would go out and look to see if it blew down. I had actually given up ever finding it after Hurricane Helene, but thankfully hurricane Milton gave it back to us. It wasn’t a big deal that it was lost, but it sure was fun finding it again. Hopefully, this is our last major storm of the season. I don’t think that Florida can handle another one this year.