Sad News

I found out today that one of my former student's committed suicide last night by stepping in front of a train.  That was tough to hear.  I thought a lot of my time with him as a teacher in middle school while I was out walking this afternoon.  He was in my room multiple times a day working on FACS projects, meeting with his academic advisor and just hanging out.  He also spent quite a bit of time in the room next to mine where he ate lunch everyday and got support when needed.  I knew that he had struggles inside and outside of school.  Thus, I wasn't too surprised when they finally released his name,  I still felt bad that we couldn't have done more for him.  

As sad as I was to hear of his death, what surprised me most was how relieved I was that I was no longer teaching.  While I was at school I worked hard to mentor students that were most in need of it. I knew from the aftermath of my brother's death that a teacher could really make a difference when life got tough for a child.  Until I quit teaching, however, I didn't realize how emotionally draining that part of my job really was.  I worried about my students continually.  I hoped through my work that I could make a long term difference, but the chance of that was not high.   I knew that many of these students would have lifelong struggles and I was really only helping them through the day.  One time when I was working with an extremely challenging situation, Mr. Voirol told me that sometimes that helping someone through the day was the best we could do.  He was right.  Therefore, I will chose to think about the good days that this student had in middle school instead of his tragic end.