Follow the Child

Over 20 years ago I spent the summer in Evanston learning about the teachings of Maria Montessori.  Although I only taught at Montessori schools for four years the knowledge that I gained those three months have been highly influential in our idea of parenting.  Montessori believed in fostering a child's interest.  We believe in that approach in raising the Heinisch children.

Yesterday was a moment of celebration in the "Follow the Child" philosophy.  Earlier this year Meg had decided to focus only soccer and tennis and forgo playing high school basketball.  We listened to her reasoning and shared our thoughts with her, but the decision was hers to make.  On the way home from her first USTA high school match yesterday she told me how happy she was that she made that decision.  She lost her first match as singles, but it was a highly competitive one.  She came away with thoughts of what to work on at her next lesson and highlighted what she did well.  She easily won her mixed doubles match as she and Nate were significantly better than their opponents.  Victory was fun as always, but once again she learned quite a bit in playing - where to stand, how to communicate, and how to stay focused.  The more she talked, the more I realized how proud she was of herself for working at tennis and participating with her team.  One of Maria Montessori's key philosophies - self worth and pride.

Fifteen months ago Cameron walked out of an open house at Bethany Christian and said to me, "Why did we come today?"  I asked him what he thought.  He said, "To see if I would like to go to school here."  When I told him he was correct, he looked at me and said, "Can I start tomorrow?"  He knew what he was lacking and knew what he needed to be successful.  He had found it at Bethany in the camps he had participated in.  He knew in his heart that they would help him foster his interests and yesterday he succeeded in reaching a personal goal that he had set.  He finished fourth at the individual regional chess tournament and is headed to state on January 23rd.  Cam's knowledge has not only grown in chess this year, but in many other areas as well.  Although moving to a new school is never easy, the benefits of having smaller class sizes, increased technology and more teacher attention has far outweighed the insecurities of transferring.

As I reflect on the successes that both Meg and Cameron had yesterday I realize that it is not about showing off their accomplishments.  It is about following their interests and helping them reach their full potential.  Gaining confidence and learning what is best for oneself is a life lesson I can't teach them.  They have to be given space to learn it for themselves.  Love being a Montessori Mom.  Can't imagine raising the Heinisch children any other way.